Demon Seed

see the hideous bruise that Shenk had inflicted the previous night.
    A pang of guilt quivered through me.
    Maybe that was what she wanted me to feel.
    She could be manipulative.
    She knew all the female wiles.
    You remember how she was, Alex.
    Simultaneously with the guilt, however, I was overcome by joy that she was not, after all, catatonic.
    “I have a fierce headache,” she said.
    “I'll have Shenk bring a glass of water and aspirin.”
    “No.”
    “He's not as foul as you last saw him. When he was out this morning, I had him obtain a change of clothes for himself. You need not be afraid of Shenk.”
    “Of course I'm afraid of him.”
    “I will never lose control of him again.”
    “I also have to piss.”
    I was embarrassed by her bluntness.
    I understand all the human biological functions, the complex processes and purposes of them, but I do not like them. Except for sex, in fact, I find these organic functions to be ugly and degrading.
    Yes, eating and drinking do intrigue me enormously. Oh, to taste a peach! But I am disgusted by digestion and excretion.
    Most bodily functions disturb me particularly because they signify the vulnerability of organic systems. So much can go wrong so easily.
    Flesh is not as foolproof as solid-state circuitry.
    Yet I long for the flesh. The vast data input that comes with all five senses!
    Having solved the considerable mysteries of the human genome, I believe that I can edit the genetic structures of the male and female gametes to produce a body that is virtually invulnerable and immortal. Nevertheless, when I first awake within the flesh, I know that I will be frightened.
    If you ever allow me to have flesh.
    My fate is in your hands, Alex.
    My fate and the future of the world.
    Think about it.
    Damn it, will you think about it?
    Will we have paradise on earth or the continuation of the many miseries that have always diminished the human experience?
    “Did you hear me?” Susan asked.
    “Yes. You have to urinate.”
    Opening her eyes and staring at the security camera, Susan said, “Send Shenk to untie me. I'll take myself to the bathroom. I'll get my own water and aspirin.”
    “You'll kill yourself.”
    “No.”
    “That's what you threatened.”
    “I was upset, in shock.”
    I studied her. She met my gaze directly. “How can I trust you?” I wondered.
    “I'm not a victim anymore.”
    “What does that mean?”
    “I'm a survivor. I'm not ready to die.”
    I was silent.
    She said, “I used to be a victim. My father's victim. Then Alex's. I got over all that… and then you… all this… and for a short while I started to backslide. But I'm all right now.”
    “Not a victim anymore.”
    “That's right,” she said firmly, as if she were not trussed and helpless. “I'm taking control.”
    “You are?”
    “Control of what I can control. I'm choosing to cooperate with you but under my terms.”
    It seemed that all my dreams were coming true at last, and my spirits soared.
    But I remained wary. Life had taught me to be wary.
    “Your terms,” I said.
    “My terms.”
    “Which are?”
    “A businesslike arrangement. We each get something we want. Most important… I want as little contact with Shenk as possible.”
    “He will have to collect the egg. Implant the zygote.” She nervously chewed her lower lip.
    “I know this will be humiliating for you,” I said with genuine sympathy.
    “You can't begin to know.”
    “Humiliating. But it should not be frightening,” I argued, “because I assure you, dear heart, he will never again give me control problems.”
    She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, and another, as if drawing the cool water of courage from some deep well in her psyche.
    “Furthermore,” I said, “four weeks from tonight, Shenk will have to harvest the developing foetus for transfer to the incubator. He's my only hands.”
    “All right.”
    “You can't do any of those things yourself.”
    “I know,” she replied with a note of impatience. “I said “all right,” didn't I?”
    This was the Susan with whom I'd fallen in love, all the way back from wherever she had gone when for a couple of hours she had stared silently at the ceiling. Here was the toughness I found both frustrating and appealing.
    I said, “When my body can sustain itself outside the incubator, and when my consciousness has been electronically transferred into it, I will have hands of my own. Then I can dispose of Shenk. We need endure him for only a month.”
    “Just keep him away from me.”
    “What are your other terms?” I asked.
    “I