Devils & Blue Dresses: My Wild Ride as a Rock and Roll Legend

the history of American musical culture and, as you noticed in previous chapters, there are rewards. But my truth as a fellow human to my peers of limitations is the fact that I am strapped in debt. I’ve been married four times because I traded love for my pursuit of a dream. I don’t know my brothers and sisters beyond my teenage years, and my children have been handed the same dysfunctional characteristics with which they must now be burdened with for the rest of their lives. Every day of my life I must fight to not lose what little positive gains I have captured in regard to seeking a healthier way to live. This all comes to me so late in life, at a time when change is difficult, that it sometimes seems impossible.
    But there is Megan. If I could give a Megan to every man who is lost and about to go under I would. She is my salvation. She’s the one who said, “It doesn’t have to be this way.” I have two wonderful sons with Megan. Tommy and Ian, as they grew from little guys into men of the world they made a place for me in their lives that they didn’t have to make.
    When I hit the stage to perform I now do so with a confidence that comes from decades of knowing the territory. Even when the surprises come, and they do, I have bought and paid for enough real estate to know I would defend it to the death. I am happy to be making other people happy, because I understand how life tears most of us down and how important it is to find an hour or two of harmless pleasure in which we can all be entertained. You don’t think I’m being entertained? When I’m on that stage, we are all being entertained. I’m entertaining you and you’re entertaining me. If everything goes well, we all walk away a little bit better off than when we first came. But then, after the music is over, we go back to our private (not so private for me) lives and having had a short respite from the reality of life we somehow gather the resolve to go on.
    I was speaking with a friend of mine in the business and we both agreed that most musicians and entertainers suffer from low-self esteem. That is why acceptance is so important, and that in turn drives you to have to be better than the competition. I have paid dearly for having low self-esteem. No matter what you do in life, whether you are a man or a woman, there are predators who can spot you like a hawk spots the field mouse. And they will take you down roads you would never take yourself, because you would be afraid. But they are not afraid. Why should they be? It’s their road they are leading you down and you trust them. You are the prey.
    I need to learn the territory that Megan allowed me to see, as I know the territory upon which my music exists. Here now in the eleventh hour of my days on this planetmaybe I won’t be able to get there, but the joy of chasing after that new dream will allow me to leave in peace.
    We of the lower class don’t need to be told to know our place. We need to enter the race. We need to stop hurting each other and come together in one voice and say to those who have deserted us that, “You cannot continue to abuse us. This democracy we are a part of did not give you license to treat us less than you, simply because you had the means to do so. We are all going to be buried in the same cold ground, and all of the people you have hurt, disregarded and stepped upon to raise yourself up will be there with you eventually. Your heaven on earth is temporary.”
    In the meantime, we can help each other. We can educate the uneducated. We can be kind to each other. We can stop victimizing each other. We can stop hating each other. And we can find a leader who believes we deserve to be a part of and share in the blessings and promises of this great country. Someone willing to hold the wealthy accountable for the pain, suffering and hate they have visited upon our class. Is there one person born of our social class that honestly believes the wealthy care about our fate? No. They do not. Not one little bit. What about all the good, charitable acts the wealthy constantly perform? You gotta know that they had a tax break or some other mechanism that worked for their financial gain. They wouldn’t have given a shit if there was nothing material in it for themselves. It doesn’t come from honest compassion.
    I do charitable performances quite often and I receive nothing in return except the knowledge that I have helped my fellow human beings with no strings