Devils Roses 01 - Cursed

most of the first day, but I wasn’t a patient person anymore—I felt restless.
    I thought about Shane; I thought about him non-stop. My heart deceived my mind and ignored the fact he had betrayed me.
    I thought about him nonstop, regardless.
    A couple with a small child, more than likely from Port Handley as I didn’t recognize them, walked the beach the morning of day two. They greeted me cautiously. I noticed I could smell them. Something about them made me want to touch them. I stayed on my side of the beach to be careful. I wasn’t sure of anything about myself and I didn’t want to hurt anyone.
    I watched them walk away from me, but I couldn’t help but fantasize about touching their arms, holding them close to me. I frightened myself with my quirky thoughts. I thought about Aleks and the conversation we needed to have. I tried to distract myself. It might have worked if every thought hadn’t turned to Shane, which in turn twisted into a memory about having S.E.X. with Shane.
    I was going stir crazy, thinking about him touching me. I wanted him, I wanted to touch him, but mostly I wanted to do it all again. I was having feelings I couldn’t explain.
    At first I thought they were ordinary sex thoughts, that a person would have after doing it for the first time. Then I realized, I was obsessing. I felt more like a teenage boy than a prudish girl.
    I felt the warm wind off the fire and tricked myself into believing Aleks was back, but it had been from a breeze off the sea.
    I had driven myself nutty long enough and decided to bail on my plan of three days. I started to extinguish the fire by spreading out the logs of wood, breaking apart the remnants with my shoe. I used a large seashell I had found and grabbed water from one of the tidal pools. I started to pour water on the fire, when I saw movement behind me.
    I turned to see Shane sitting on the log where I had been. I wanted to run to him, but I stayed very still. I put the seashell down and waited for him to talk.
    He never spoke, just sat staring at the fire struggling to remain lit, as if not realizing I was there. His face looked devastated.
    I walked toward him, lost in the fear I had imagined him.
    “ Shane, are you really there?” I asked him, feeling terrified he was dead like Jaime had been.
    He nodded. “Yeah, Aimee, I am. I waited for you, you never came. Again, you left me. I was pissed and I went to Blake's and he told me everything he said.”
    I felt anger inside of me brewing. I wanted to kill Blake. It felt like my anger was exaggerated.
    He lifted his face to meet mine. “I was so angry with him. I drove everywhere looking for you. I just wanted to tell you the truth about what I think and whatever. I looked everywhere for you, but I couldn't find you until I stopped to get gas. The old guy who sells his worms as bait there was telling Mike, the guy who owns the bakery, how he could swear he saw the crazy James girl running on the highway by the trail here.”
    He laughed and dragged a hand through his messy hair that I loved. “The funny thing about knowing someone for eighteen years, Aimes, is that you get to know certain things about them. I knew you would come to this beach.”
    He looked angry with me for a reason I couldn’t place. I wondered what else Blake had told him, since I had pretty much divulged everything. My stomach hurt thinking about the ways I had betrayed him and vice versa.
    I trembled, stopping dead in my tracks, before I lashed out at him. I waited for him to finish. I needed to calm myself before I spoke to him.
    “ I don’t know what to say.” He looked so defeated, it made me sick.
    I felt a trigger snap in my brain. “YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY? YOU CAME ALL THIS WAY TO TELL ME THAT? AFTER YOU TOOK MY VIRGINITY AND AGREED TO COMMIT ME IN THE SAME DAY—ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY IS YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY? WHAT THE FUCK?”
    He jumped at my shouting. “Aimes, please. The story is just so crazy and you believe it.”
    “ Get away from me.” The words hurt me, they cut into my soul.
    “ Maybe there is something, you know—like a tumor. Aimes, you’re living at the beach alone.” He was pleading with me.
    “ I know that Shane, I know I’m alone. None of the fucking assholes in my life believe me.” I looked up at him. “Well, except Aleks. I’m sure he’ll be here any minute. At least he hasn’t abandoned me.” It was a low blow, I knew that. I also knew Aleks wasn't coming and I was