Don’t Cry, Tai Lake

Bordeaux. All these nice extras were provided in recognition of his special status.
    As he gazed into the red wine rippling in the glass, he realized that he missed her.
    She cared about him without knowing his status. Not that he had intended to keep his identity a secret. His situation was not like the one in an English novel he had read years ago, where a rich and powerful nobleman had disguised himself as a poor vagrant to try to find true love, someone who would love him for the man he was, not for things like wealth or status.
    Shanshan hadn’t told him that much about herself, either. Considering the circumstances in which they’d met, she had her reasons.
    A young, attractive, bright woman like her must have had men pursuing her, presumably many of them, including Jiang. That was not suprising. But when they first met at Uncle Wang’s eatery, he was sure there wasn’t anyone in her life. Like there wasn’t anyone in his.
    He stopped himself from thinking further along those lines. At this moment, there were so many more important things for him to do. It wouldn’t be a good idea for Chief Inspector Chen to lose himself in a burgeoning affair. If Internal Security happened to find out about their relationship while they were in the middle of the investigation, he might not be able to wash himself clean, as the proverb says, even if he jumped into the Yellow River.
    It was late in the afternoon, and he was beginning to feel slightly hungry. He had skipped lunch; after the interruption of breakfast delivery, he had instructed the front desk that he wanted no disturbances whatsoever.
    It would be only a matter of minutes for him to walk over to the canteen and have them prepare something, but he didn’t like the idea of being treated as a “special guest.” Instead, he boiled a pot of water and put in a package of shrimp dumplings he had bought at the center’s convenience store as an instant snack.
    He ate the meal without really tasting it. When he thought about it, though, there was still an agreeable aftertaste lingering on his tongue. Afterward, he dumped the bowl and pot into the sink without bothering to wash them. Out the kitchen window, he noticed a fitful wind dispelling the languid clouds in the distance.
    Chen changed into an old T-shirt and short pants, then picked up the phone. But he hesitated. He’d already left her a message, which she hadn’t yet returned. Putting down the phone, he wondered what she’d been doing all day. It was tempting to make another surprise visit to her room, but he decided not to go out. There wasn’t anything new to tell her, and besides, the dorm might be under surveillance.
    Instead, he opened up the laptop on the table. He had an unexpected impulse to continue on with the fragments he had written earlier in the week. Thinking of her, he opened the file. The earlier lines remained unpolished, but they could develop into a long poem, perhaps even something as ambitious as “The Waste Land.”
    Again, images sprang forth. Random ones, clustering around the lake, and with her in the middle of every line. The moment she was sitting with him in the sampan, the lake water murmuring after her, as she was telling him about all the environmental problems …
    The morning comes to the lake
    in waves of toxic waste, waves
    of poisonous air, surging to smother
    the smile in the waking boughs.
    She walks in a red jacket
    like a bright sail through the dust
    under the network of pipes, long
    in disrepair, spreading cobweblike,
    dripping with contaminated water.
    A mud-covered toad jumps up
    at the dew-bespangled report in her hand
    opens its sleepy eyes, seeing
    all around still murky, slumps back into sleep.
    There was something contagious about her youthful idealism. For a long while, he’d thought he was no longer capable of being genuinely lyrical. But it might not be too late for him to start all over again. He thought of her, and kept pounding at the keys.
    The broken metal-blue fingernails
    of the leaves clutching
    the barren bank of the lake,
    the dead fish afloat, shining
    with the mercury bellies trembling,
    their glassy eyes still flashing
    with the last horror and fascination,
    still gazing up at the apparition
    of a witch dancing in a black bikini,
    her raven hair long, streaming
    on her snowy white shoulders, jumping
    into the dark smoke from the chimneys,
    against the dark waste currents
    across the lake, a dark wood of
    nightmare looms up.
    A dog is