Don’t Look Behind You

to inflict large painful bruises, making it impossible for Plaintiff to sleep, and causing her to be in extreme pain and unable toperform her usual duties and move about normally. That further, said Defendant beat and abused Plaintiff’s child by a prior marriage to the degree that she was forced to relinquish custody of said child to her former husband. That as a result of the actions of Defendant, Plaintiff has lost all love and affection for said Defendant, and it is no longer possible for parties hereto to live together as husband and wife, or at all.”
    For more than five years, Joann had managed all of the Hansens’ rental properties and kept the books. Duncan Bonjorni told her that the original size of Bob Hansen’s estate had undoubtedly increased greatly in value due, in large part, to her efforts. She deserved to have an equitable distribution of their assets in any divorce settlement.
    She also asked for a “full, absolute, complete decree of divorce,” custody of their children—with reasonable visitation rights for their father—support and education of the minor children until they came of age, the household furniture, her car, and attorneys’ fees.
    Since Joann had no funds, Bonjorni asked for a temporary order giving her the Chevrolet Biscayne to drive, support and maintenance, the furniture, and the use of one of the many houses the couple owned.
    In response, Bob pleaded poverty, saying that after he paid all of his mortgages each month, he only had $400 left from the rentals. But Joann, who had kept the records, knew he cleared $1,125 a month.
    Bob Hansen hired his own attorney and fought Joann furiously over division of their assets. He harassed her constantly and made her life miserable. To upset her, hegave lighted cigarettes to Nick, Kandy Kay, and Ty—even though they were all under five.
    In that summer of 1962, she had no real place to live. She took the children and went to visit one of her sisters in Spokane for a while. When she felt they might be overstaying their welcome, she moved back to Pat’s house.
    Duncan Bonjorni helped Joann file a tougher restraining order meant to protect her if Bob should try to locate her. The order was issued on August 8, 1962, and Joann heaved a sigh of relief. Maybe she could get away from Bob and have a new life where she wasn’t afraid anymore.
    She almost believed that was true. Today we have learned that restraining orders aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on as far as safety for the person who holds them. Yes, they can cause a stalker or angry spouse to be arrested if they disobey the orders, but many of them aren’t deterred. If a man—or a woman—is obsessed with someone, a court order doesn’t help. Too often, they make the stalker furious and their targets are in even more danger.
    Joann and the children stayed at Patricia Martin’s house in Auburn for two weeks, weeks when she was able to relax a little. But it was a temporary measure. She knew she couldn’t hide from Bob forever, and he was sure to figure out where she was, anyway. Probably, he already knew. Joann wasn’t close to many people, but Pat had always been there to help her when things turned rocky. He would guess that she had run to Pat for shelter.
    Forty-eight years later, Patricia Martin still feels guilty that she couldn’t do more to help her best friend. They satat Pat’s kitchen table, drank coffee, and smoked endless cigarettes, as they debated what Joann should do. Both of them were naive about restraining orders. Joann wanted so much to be back in her own home, and Bob owned plenty of houses where he could live.
    The restraining order said she could go back to the large brown house in Des Moines. Bob was supposedly living in the smaller white house a few blocks away.
    Pat urged Joann to go home—to live the way she deserved to live. “He’s not there, Joann,” she said. “You’ll see. You have made the first move to be free, and now you can build on that.”
    Patricia Martin honestly felt that she was giving Joann the best advice possible. No one should live in hiding, afraid of shadows. After all, Joann had a restraining order.
    One thing Pat has never forgotten—and it niggles at her. “Joann begged me to go home with her, and stay until she got the locks changed,” Pat says. “But I was too afraid of Bob. I knew he resented me for taking Joann’s side and giving her a place to run to.”
    It was Friday, August 10, 1962. Joann had