Dreamless

I was kissing him , Helen added in her mind but would never say aloud.
    Everyone stared at Helen in utter shock. Guilty tears sprang up in her eyes and she brushed them away angrily, wishing she could as easily brush away the image of Orion’s face. He had looked so surprised and hurt. And it was because she had betrayed him.
    “Yeah, I know. I’m a horrible person. Now will you all give me a sec to text him back?”
    The three of them tried to tell Helen that they didn’t think any less of her, that it wasn’t her fault that she had attacked Orion, but Helen turned her back on them and focused on her phone. She needed to reconnect with Orion much more than she needed to have her guilt assuaged by her well-meaning friends.
    I’m so sorry , Helen wrote. Please, please, please, forgive me?
    She waited. Nothing came back. She started scrolling through the other texts he had left, and from what she read, she didn’t think he seemed angry, but maybe he’d had some time to think about what had happened and changed his mind. She might never see him again. In desperation, she sent a flurry of texts:
    If you don’t forgive me, I swear I’ll never sleep again.
    Orion? At least answer me.
    Please talk to me.
    Helen stared at her screen after each text, waiting for a response, but none came. After a few minutes of dead air, she sat down on the floor, utterly exhausted. Her whole body was hot and shaky, and her head felt like someone with massive hands had grabbed her by the face.
    “Still nothing from Orion?” Ariadne asked. Helen shook her head and rubbed her eyes. How long had she been staring at the screen? Looking around, Helen noticed that Jason and Cassandra had joined them in the practice room. She rubbed her face and shivered, suddenly very cold.
    “We need you to tell us about this distraction you mentioned; the one that sidetracked Cerberus,” Cassandra said.
    “We didn’t see who it was,” Helen answered. “But I’ll tell you, whoever it was can really yodel.”
    “It just seems impossible,” Cassandra said doubtfully.
    “Maybe it was one of those harpies?” Jason offered gently.
    “It wasn’t a harpy, Jason. It was a person’s voice, a living person who risked being eaten by a very large, three-headed wolf to help us. I know, it sounds crazy—but Orion heard it, too. It wasn’t an illusion.”
    I’m no illusion, either, Beauty. I’m waiting for you .
    Helen sat up straighter, her head cocked to the side, trying to locate the source of the voice. It was obvious no one else had heard it.
    “Will you come with us to the library, Helen?” The way Cassandra asked made it seem almost like an order. “Jason and I want to talk to you.”
    Jason nodded curtly at Ariadne as he passed her. His lips were pinched tight in annoyance. Helen noticed that he didn’t even look at Claire or Matt; he just walked by them coldly. Glancing back over her shoulder, Helen saw Claire staring at Jason as he walked away from her. She looked like she wanted to either call out to him or start crying. Helen could tell something had happened between the three of them, and she had a feeling it had something to do with how openly Ariadne was training Matt now.
    They went upstairs to the library. Through the large glass doors that overlooked the ocean, Helen could see that it was dusk. Another day was dying, but to Helen it was just a change of light.
    She looked out at the pewter horizon as it turned darker then lighter and darker again, shifting in bands from sea to sky, and thought how similar the gradient hues of gray were to her experience of day and night. Everything looked like a blah blend of black and white.
    She’d have to go to sleep soon. Even if Orion refused to see her again, eventually Helen knew she would close her eyes and go back there. Alone.
    “Helen?” Cassandra sounded worried.
    Helen realized that her mind had wandered off again and wondered how long she had been staring out the window.
    “You wanted to talk to me?” she asked, trying to sound normal. Her nose was stuffed up and starting to run again. Jason and Cassandra looked at each other, like they hadn’t decided who was going to speak first.
    “We were wondering how you were feeling,” Cassandra finally said.
    “I’ve felt better.” Helen looked between the two of them, sensing something fishy.
    “Would you like me to check you out?” Jason said tentatively. “I may be able to help.”
    “That’s great, but unless you can