Dust of Dreams

mean?’
    Shurq Elalle then chose the most vicious reply of all. She said nothing. And took another delicate mouthful of wine.
    Janath stared, and then turned on her husband.
    Who flinched.
    In a tight, low voice, Janath asked, ‘Dear husband, do I fail in pleasing you?’
    ‘Of course not!’
    ‘Am I the subject of private conversations between you and this—this creature?’
    ‘Private? You, her? Not at all!’
    ‘Oh, so what then is the subject of those conversations?’
    ‘No subject—’
    ‘Too busy to talk, then, is it? You two—’
    ‘What? No!’
    ‘Oh, there’s always time for a few explicit instructions. Naturally.’
    ‘I don’t—we don’t—’
    ‘This is insane,’ snapped Shurq Elalle. ‘When I can get a man like Ublala Pung why should I bother with Tehol here?’
    The King vigorously nodded, and then frowned.
    Janath narrowed her gaze on the undead captain. ‘Am I to understand that my husband is not good enough for you?’
    Bugg clapped his hands and rose. ‘Think I’ll take a walk in the garden. By your leave, sire—’
    ‘No! Not for a moment! Not unless I can go with you!’
    ‘Don’t even think it,’ hissed Janath. ‘I’m defending your honour here!’
    ‘Bah!’ barked Shurq Elalle. ‘You’re defending your choice in men! That’s different.’
    Tehol straightened, pushing his chair back and mustering the few remaining tatters of his dignity. ‘We can only conclude,’ he intoned loftily, ‘that nostalgic nights of reminiscences are best contemplated in the abstract—’
    ‘The figurative,’ suggested Bugg.
    ‘Rather than the literal, yes. Precisely. And now, my Chancellor and I will take the night air for a time. Court musicians—you! Over there! Wax up those instruments or whatever you have to do. Music! Something friendly!’
    ‘Forgiving.’
    ‘And forgiving!’
    ‘Pacifying.’
    ‘Pacifying!’
    ‘But not patronizing—’
    ‘But not—All right, that will do, Bugg.’
    ‘Of course, sire.’
    Shurq watched the two cowards flee the dining hall. Once the door had closed, and the dozen or so musicians had finally settled on the same song, the captain leaned back in her chair and contemplated the Queen for a moment, and then said, ‘So, what’s all this about?’
    ‘I had some guests last night, ones that I think you should meet.’
    ‘All right. In what capacity?’
    ‘They may have need of you and your ship. It’s complicated.’
    ‘No doubt.’
    Janath waved a handmaiden over and muttered some instructions. The short, overweight woman with the pimply face waddled off.
    ‘You really don’t trust Tehol, do you?’ Shurq asked, watching the handmaiden depart.
    ‘It’s not a matter of trust. More a question of eliminating temptation.’
    She snorted. ‘Never works. You know that, don’t you? Besides, he’s a king. He has royal leave to exercise kingly excesses. It’s a well-established rule. Your only reasonable response is to exercise in kind.’
    ‘Shurq, I’m a scholar and not much else. It’s not my way—’
    ‘Make it your way, Highness. And then the pressure’s off both of you. No suspicions, no jealousies, no unreasonable expectations. No unworkable prohibitions.’
    ‘Such liberating philosophy you have, Captain.’
    ‘So it is.’
    ‘And doomed to sink into a most grisly mire of spite, betrayal and loneliness.’
    ‘That’s the problem with you living. You’re all stuck on seeing only the bad things. If you were dead like me you’d see how pointless all that is. A waste of precious energy. I recommend your very own ootooloo—that’ll put your thoughts in the right place.’
    ‘Between my legs, you mean.’
    ‘Exactly. Our very own treasure chest, our pleasure box, the gift most women lock up and swallow the key to, and then call themselves virtuous. What value in denying the gift and all it offers? Madness! What’s the value of a virtue that makes you miserable and wretched?’
    ‘There are other kinds of pleasure, Shurq—’
    ‘But none so readily at hand for each and every one of us. You don’t need coin. Errant fend, you don’t even need a partner! I tell you, excess is the path to contentment.’
    ‘And have you found it? Contentment, I mean, since your excesses are not in question.’
    ‘I have indeed.’
    ‘What if you could live again?’
    ‘I’ve thought about it. A lot, lately, in fact, since there’s a necromancer among the Malazans who says he can attempt a ritual that might return me to