Dust of Dreams

that made her think he should have been a father a hundred times by now—to the world’s regret, since he was not anything of the sort.
    No, Gruntle had broken loves behind him. Hardly unique, of course, but in that man the loss belonged to everyone.
    Ah, I think I just yearn for his shadow. Me and half the lasses here. Oh well. Silly Faint.
    Setoc, who had been conversing with Cartographer, now walked over.
    ‘The storm to the south’s not getting any closer—we have that, at least.’
    Faint rubbed the back of her neck and winced at the pressure. ‘Could have done with the rain.’
    ‘If there was rain.’
    She glanced at the girl. ‘Saw you meet Gruntle’s eyes a while back. A look passed between you when we were talking about that storm. So, out with it.’
    ‘It was a battle, not a storm. Sorcery, and worse. But now it’s over.’
    ‘Who was fighting, Setoc?’
    She shook her head. ‘It’s far away. We don’t have to go there.’
    ‘Seems like we’re not going anywhere right now.’
    ‘We will. For now, let’s leave him be,’ she said, eyes on Mappo, who stood a short distance away, motionless as a statue—as he had been for some time.
    Amby had been walking alongside the horse-drawn travois carrying his brother—Jula was still close to death. Precious Thimble’s healing was a paltry thing. The Wastelands could not feed her magic, she said. There was still the chance that Jula would die. Amby knelt, shading his brother’s face with one hand. He suddenly looked very young.
    Setoc walked back to the horse.
    Sighing, Faint looked around.
    And saw a rider approaching. ‘Company,’ she said, loud enough to catch everyone’s attention. All but Mappo reacted, turning or rising and following her gaze.
    From Setoc: ‘I know him! That’s Torrent!’
    More lost souls to this pathetic party. Welcome.
     
    A single flickering fire marked the camp, and occasionally a figure passed in front of it. The wind carried no sound from those gathered there. Among the travellers, sorrow and joy, grief and the soft warmth of newborn love. So few mortals, and yet all of life was there, ringing the fire.
    Faint jade light limned the broken ground, as if darkness itself could be painted into a mockery of life. The rider who sat upon a motionless, unbreathing horse, was silent, feeling like a creature too vast to approach any shore—he could look on with one dead eye or the other dead eye. He could remember what it was like to be a living thing among other living things.
    The heat, the promise, the uncertainties and all the hopes to sweeten the bitterest seas.
    But that shore was for ever beyond him now.
    They could feel the warmth of that fire. He could not. And never again.
    The figure that rose from the dust beside him said nothing for a time, and when she spoke it was in the spirit language—her voice beyond the ears of the living. ‘We all do as we must, Herald.’
    ‘What
you
have done, Olar Ethil . . .’
    ‘It is too easy to forget.’
    ‘Forget what?’
    ‘The truth of the T’lan Imass. Did you know, a fool once wept for them?’
    ‘I was there. I saw the man’s barrow—the gifts . . .’
    ‘The most horrid of creatures—human and otherwise—are so easily, so carelessly recast. Mad murderers become heroes. The insane wear the crown of geniuses. Fools flower in endless fields, Herald, where history once walked.’
    ‘What is your point, bonecaster?’
    ‘The T’lan Imass. Slayers of Children from the very beginning. Too easy to forget. Even the Imass themselves, the First Sword himself, needed reminding. You all needed reminding.’
    ‘To what end?’
    ‘Why do you not go to them, Toc the Younger?’
    ‘I cannot.’
    ‘No,’ she nodded, ‘you cannot. The pain is too great. The
loss
you feel.’
    ‘Yes,’ he whispered.
    ‘Nor should they yield love to you, should they? Any of them. The children . . .’
    ‘They should not, no.’
    ‘Because, Toc the Younger, you are the brother of Onos T’oolan. His true brother now. And for all the mercy that once dwelt in your mortal heart, only ghosts remain. They must not love you. They must not believe in you. For you are not the man you once were.’
    ‘Did you think I needed reminding, too, Olar Ethil?’
    ‘I think . . . yes.’
    She was right. He felt inside for the pain he’d thought—he’d believed—he had lived with for so long. As if
lived
was even the right word. When he found it, he saw at last its terrible