Earth and Sky

love you.”

    Grant didn’t say anything at first, and then he slowly started smiling. “You know you say these things and I don’t know how to react. If I say ‘I love you’ back, it sounds like I’m just saying it because you said it, and if I don’t, then you’ll think I don’t love you. And you know I do. You know I’ve never felt anything for anyone else like I feel for you.”

    “Except maybe your kids?” Hunter said. All of a sudden his heart was racing, and he didn’t know why. Over the past year and a half, their relationship hadn’t been easy, mostly because they were both crap at talking about the really important things, but he knew they’d grown. Now they were both lying on their bed, in their own house. Anyone who mattered knew they were together. They were naked, which always resulted in sex. Urgent, passionate, no-holds-barred explosive sex. So why would Grant pick now to start a serious conversation?

    “What I feel for my kids is different. I’m responsible for them. I need to make sure they’re brought up right and happy, and that they grow up without having to worry about the realities of real life until they need to stand on their own two feet.”

    “And you don’t need me to be happy?” Hunter asked. As soon as he heard the words, he thought they sounded needy and… well, frankly, like Miranda always sounded when she was whining.

    Grant smiled at Hunter and shook his head. “That’s the difference. You don’t need me to be happy.”

    “That’s where you’re wrong,” Hunter said seriously. “I was a morose, cantankerous bastard before you came.” He snuggled closer into Grant’s embrace.

    “You were pretty cantankerous when I was already here,” Grant corrected him.

    “You changed that, and I’m glad you did. I didn’t know how miserable I was until you showed me it could be different.”

    Grant caressed Hunter’s jaw so he would look at him. “Pretty impressive, since I was just as uncomfortable admitting I really preferred men.”

    Moving to lay half on top of Grant, Hunter kissed him softly. He caressed Grant’s sides and his soft chest hair, which was every bit as curly as the hair on his head. They were skin to skin, no fabric separating them, and it felt intimate rather than sexual, although Hunter had no doubt they’d end up making love. Part of him felt like such a wuss, enjoying this languid discovery of the man he’d been fucking for more than a year. He remembered how Miranda had complained about his wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am attitude in bed and how he’d never understood her—until now. These past eighteen months he’d learned to sleep next to Grant and enjoy the warm, firm body next to him in bed. He’d grown to miss the small, intimate caresses if he woke up and Grant had already gotten up. He’d surprised himself by still feeling lust for this man he’d spent almost 24/7 with for so long. And Hunter hoped he would still feel it for a long time to come.

    While they were languidly kissing, the heat rose slowly between them. It was as if they’d suddenly realized they had time—and space—to just enjoy each other. As if they’d both come to the conclusion that making love was not a sprint, but a marathon; that it wasn’t about getting off, but about what it felt like to share, to enjoy and give enjoyment; that it mattered more how they made the other one feel than how they felt themselves; that giving the other one pleasure would automatically ensure their own pleasure as well.

    More than once, Hunter caught Grant looking at him, trying to catch his eye. It was starting to make Hunter feel uncomfortable, both because he didn’t understand why things were different between them all of a sudden and because he was afraid Grant was having second thoughts, now that their relationship was as out in the open as it could be.

    Grant letting go of him and falling to his back with a frustrated grunt only added to Hunter’s uneasiness.

    Afraid of opening a can of worms, Hunter didn’t say anything and just looked away. With the full moon shining through the banner that was strung across the window, there was enough light to see clearly inside the room.

    “What’s wrong?” Grant asked, sitting up on the bed.

    “Nothing’s wrong.”

    Grant snorted. “Yeah, right.”

    “I just….” Hunter sighed and didn’t finish his sentence. How could he tell Grant about his insecurities? How could he risk Grant acknowledging them