Easy

caught in his grip, swinging me from the top step as he brought me against his chest and I almost, almost stomped on his instep.
    “She’s Carlie Heller,” he said into my ear, and I stilled. “Her brother Caleb is inside, too. We’re playing video games.”
    My heart still pounded fight-or-flight as his words sunk in and I slumped against him, feeling like a jealous idiot. I dropped my forehead to his chest. His heart was pounding as hard as mine. “I’m sorry,” I mumbled against his soft t-shirt. “I shouldn’t have come.”
    “Maybe you shouldn’t have come without telling me, but I can’t be sorry to see you.”
    I looked up. “But you said…?”
    His eyes were silver under the porch light. “I’m trying to protect you. From myself. I don’t do…” he swung a finger back and forth between us “…this.”
    My teeth chattered when I spoke. “That doesn’t make any sense. Just because you haven’t before doesn’t mean you can’t.” Too late, I apprehended a different, more likely reason for his words. “Unless… you don’t want to.”
    He sighed and released his grip on my arm to run both hands through his hair. “It’s not… that…”
    “Brrr! Are y’all coming in, or what? ’Cause I’m closing this door.” I peeked around Lucas. Carlie Heller looked young, but she didn’t look that young. She didn’t seem resentful, though. And she appeared to be curious.
    “Well, you asked for it.” Threading his fingers through mine, Lucas turned toward the door and pushed it wider. “We’re coming in.”
    Carlie darted to a corner of the sofa where Francis lay across a blanket. Scooping him up, she flopped him over her shoulder like he was an inanimate object. After climbing under the blanket, she rearranged the cat on her lap and picked up the controller. Next to her sat a scowling boy with the same dark eyes, a bit younger than (but just as sullen as) my middle school boys.
    “Take all day,” he mumbled in Lucas’s direction.
    “ Rude .” Carlie elbowed him and he rolled his eyes.
    Lucas took his controller from the sofa cushion, gesturing for me to sit in the corner opposite Carlie. “Guys, this is my friend, Jacqueline. Jacqueline, these monkeys are Caleb and Carlie Heller.” Carlie and I exchanged hellos and Caleb mumbled something in my direction. I pulled my feet beneath me and watched the game over Lucas’s head.
    When Carlie ushered Caleb out fifteen minutes later, his sulking hadn’t decreased. He glanced back at me. “I can’t have girls alone in my room.”
    She swatted the back of his head. “Shut it. Lucas is a grown-up , and you are just a horny pre-adolescent .”
    I tried to disguise my laugh as a cough as Caleb’s face flushed red, and he shot through the door and pounded down the steps.
    Carlie turned to hug Lucas and beam at me. “Y’all have a good night,” she chirped, disappearing through the door.
    He watched her walk across the yard and into the house, saying goodnight before shutting and bolting the door. He turned, leaning back against it, and stared at me. “So. I thought we said we were taking a break?” He didn’t seem angry, but he wasn’t happy, either.
    “ You said we were taking a break.”
    His lips flattened. “Don’t you have to check out of the dorm for several weeks?”
    I remained in my spot on the sofa, curled up into the corner. “Yes. I’m only here for two more days.”
    He stared at the ground, his palms flat on the door behind him.
    I tried to swallow but couldn’t, my speech turning shaky. “There’s something I need to tell—”
    “It’s not that I don’t want you.” His voice was soft, and he didn’t look at me when he spoke. “I lied, earlier, when I said I was protecting you.” His chin came up and we stared at each other across the room. “I’m protecting myself.” He took a visible breath, his chest rising and falling. “I don’t want to be your rebound, Jacqueline.”
    The memory of Operation Bad Boy Phase crashed into me. Erin and Maggie had hatched the plan for me to use Lucas to get over Kennedy, as though he had no feelings of his own, and I’d gone along with it. I had no idea then that he’d been watching me the whole semester. That once we began talking, his interest would grow stronger. That finally, he would feel the need to turn away from me because of the depth of those feelings, not because he felt nothing.
    “Then why are you assuming that role?” I unfolded myself from