Emma's Secret: A Novel

that
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name? Why was she so sensitive to this?
    Was Peter right? Was she just looking for a reason not to be happy? Why couldn’t she just accept life as it happened and stop trying to control it?
    Megan parked by the old pier and walked along the rugged path. Once she reached the end, she dangled her legs over the water and drank in the stillness. She gazed at the lake, mesmerized by the gentle swells and the way the seagulls dipped down into the water. She breathed deeply, trying to force the calm of the scene before her into her body, but it wasn’t working.
    She wished she were as free as the birds above her, without the stress she heaped upon herself. Emma was home. Her family was healing. Why couldn’t she be happy? Because she wanted more. The hope she felt from her morning dream lingered. There had to be more for her, for them.
    Earlier she had confessed to Peter that the incident with Emma had scared her. Without asking why, he turned it around and accused her of doing the same thing to their daughter. But he never asked her why she was scared, and to be honest, she wasn’t sure she wanted to admit the answer.
    What she needed was a fresh perspective. Someone to help her understand her doubts and worries. And she knew exactly where to go.
    Megan climbed to her feet and headed back toward her vehicle. Something was wrong, but she wasn’t sure if it was with her or her daughter.

    Megan pushed open the door to Dr. Kathy Graham’s office and glanced around the waiting area. The eight chairs were empty, as well as the coatrack. A small folded sign sat on top of the desk with “Please Be Seated” scrawled across it.
    She placed a coffee from the drive-thru on the desk and sat down in one of the chairs, clasping her purse tightly between her fingers. She prayed that coming here was the right decision.
    “I’ll be right with you,” Kathy, their family counselor, called out.
    Coming here was an impulsive decision made on the pier. Peter would never know.
    “Megan, come on in.” Kathy stood in the doorway, wearing a light-blue summer dress with her hair in a ponytail.
    “Thanks for seeing me on such short notice.” Megan grabbed the coffee she’d set down on the desk and offered it to Kathy.
    Buying Kathy a coffee for seeing her after hours was the least she could do. A tiny seed of doubt wormed its way through Megan. She should have taken the time to calm herself down instead of panicking over something as silly as Emma not responding to her name. It wasn’t a life-or-death situation. Just groundless fears.
    Megan followed Kathy into her office, and they both sat down in the leather armchairs. There was something about this office and the way it was decorated, as if it were a room in a friend’s house instead of a doctor’s office. This helped ease some of the tension in Megan’s shoulders. Off to the side, by the large bay windows, were framed drawings that had been made for Kathy. Megan immediately picked out the picture Emma had drawn during the first few weeks she’d been home. It was a picture of a little girl and a dog, sitting in a field with trees all around them. She had drawn large blue swirls indicating a brisk wind that wrapped itself around the little girl. Megan hated that picture even though Emma had beenso proud of it and asked if Kathy could put it on her wall. She hated that Emma had felt so obviously alone and unsettled.
    Kathy crossed her legs and sipped her coffee while Megan sat straight in her chair.
    “What’s going on?” Kathy asked.
    Megan bit her lip as she searched for the right words. Words that wouldn’t make her sound crazy or ungrateful. Words that would convince Kathy that she wasn’t a bad mother for doubting her child.
    “I don’t think Emma is really my daughter,” Megan blurted out instead.
    She waited for Kathy’s reaction, for the confusion, the worry, and then the doubt that she knew she deserved. She steeled herself, knowing that she’d been foolish to come and admit her fears. Her grip tightened around her purse strap.
    “Why is that?”
    Megan was surprised to hear the sincerity in Kathy’s voice. She glanced up and saw the concern in Kathy’s gaze. She relaxed a little and set her purse on the floor.
    “I know it sounds odd and might not even make sense. But it’s things she says or remembers.”
    “What kinds of things? It’s possible she’s confusing early memories with those from living with Jack and Dorothy.”
    Megan shook