Emma's Secret: A Novel

reached for her hand and smiled. He gently tugged her into his arms and started to walk backward, out of the kitchen and up to the stairs. Megan couldn’t help but notice that he’d left the phone on the counter. This time, the smile that bloomed across her face was real.

    Peter’s fingers trailed up and down Megan’s arm as they lay snuggled close together.
    “Did you know Emma thinks she saw you?” His movements stilled for a brief second before continuing, but the gentle caress she had just been enjoying now tickled and annoyed. She lifted her arm to move his hand.
    “I don’t understand.” She turned to face him and saw the hesitation in his eyes.
    “When I took her out for breakfast, she told me she thought she’d seen you in the drive-thru.” Peter’s lips tightened.
    Megan shook her head. “When did she see me?”
    Peter twisted so that he was on his back and anchored his arms behind his head. Megan had to dodge his elbow before he hit her in the head. His Adam’s apple bobbed before he looked at her out of the corner of his eye.
    “Apparently, Jack would bring her into town and go through the drive-thru for donuts.”
    Megan’s breath caught. “She was here? Just down the road?” She shook her head. No, that wasn’t possible. She couldn’t have been. For two years, Megan had searched for her daughter. There was no way she had been just down the street.
    Peter’s chin jutted out. “She said you were behind her. Several times. She waved but said you didn’t see her.”
    Megan tried to recall ever seeing Emma in the drive-thru line.
    She couldn’t. She recalled the time at the playground when she thought Emma was skipping down the sidewalk, or when they were at the pool and Megan thought for sure she’d seen Emma disappear behind a curtain in the changing room. There was the time whenthe kids were in line at the local ice cream shop and Megan thought Emma was standing outside with another family. And then the little girl at the donut shop. But that girl had been inside the store, and Megan knew for sure it wasn’t her daughter.
    “How did I not see her? How could I not know it was her?” Her chest tightened. “I wasn’t crazy then. All those times you…it was real, not a figment of my imagination.” Resignation swept over her. She let out a large sigh, threw the covers back, and grabbed her bathrobe. “We could have found her sooner, Peter.” Her voice rose as she tied a knot around her waist. “Damn it, I could have found her sooner!”
    Peter propped himself up in bed. “Don’t you think I know that?” He rubbed his face with his hands.
    “You could have believed me.” Megan’s hands trembled as she opened the drawer to the bedside table and pulled out a green leather-bound book with a cord wrapped around it. “Read my journal, Peter. I wrote down every time I thought I saw her. Every time.” Her voice shook. “How many of those times do you think I actually saw her?” She tossed the journal onto the bed, regretting it the moment she did so. She’d poured her heart into that journal, and she wasn’t sure she wanted him to see her that way.
    He picked up the book and held it in his hands before offering it back to her. “How many times did you think you saw her?”
    Megan breathed slowly through her nose, consciously letting the anger that welled up inside go, before taking the journal and placing it back in the drawer. “Too many times. I didn’t tell you half the time.” She sat back down on the bed and lowered her head to her chest.
    The room was quiet. The gentle music of the wind chimes in their backyard sang out against the warm night breeze.
    “Oh my God, Peter. Why didn’t I trust myself enough?” Tears welled up as the realization that she’d actually seen her daughter hit her.
    “Because I didn’t trust you.” Peter’s voice lowered as he admitted something Megan had been waiting for a long time to hear.
    She ran her hands through her hair before shaking her head. “You should have.” Her throat hurt as she pushed down the urge to cry. All of this could have been avoided. They could have had their daughter back sooner if only…
    Peter bit his lip. “I should have.”
    Megan pinched the top of her nose. “She waved to me?” Her voice broke. She waved to her. Emma had been right in front of her, and she’d missed her. “How could I not have seen her? How? I was always looking for her.” She rubbed her eyes. “How did I not see