Empty Promises

they finally met him. Like her family and friends, they wondered why a woman with so much going for her would stay with a man who attempted to control every facet of her life. Jami seemed to love him, but it was difficult for anyone to understand why. They had virtually no common interests: Jami hated to bowl and it made her uncomfortable to hang out at the bowling alleys with him. For some reason, he was meaner to her at the alleys than anywhere else in public. Even Steve’s friends wondered why he picked on her.
    Janet Gilman, who for three years worked closely with Jami at Microsoft, came to learn a great deal about Steve Sherer. She and Jami often ate lunch together, although never anywhere extravagant. Jami’s favorite spot was Taco Time.
    Jami once commented to Janet that she hated going bowling. Steve loved it and had special shirts made up with his nickname, “Sparky,” on his and “Jami” on hers. On the back, Steve’s sponsor’s name—All But Here’s Traveling Software—was embroidered.
    Steve was adamant that Jami had to bowl with him. “But I hate it,” Jami told Janet.
    “Well then, don’t go,” Janet said. “It can’t be comfortable for you when you’re pregnant.”
    “Steve wouldn’t allow that,” Jami said quietly.
    The women continued their lunches at Taco Time. When Jami was pregnant, she had a craving for McDonald’s and they went there also.
    One day when Jami was nearing the end of her pregnancy, Janet walked into Jami’s office to find her doubled over in pain. Janet got Jami to the hospital and the doctors said she was in premature labor.
    “I called Steve,” Janet remembered. “He was watching something or other on TV and he said he’d come to the hospital when it was over.”
    Steve eventually made it to the hospital two hours later, but Janet found his attitude “indifferent,” far from the way most fathers-to-be acted. It was as if the baby was no part of him and he was a little annoyed to have his plans interrupted. Jami’s labor turned out to be false, however, and her obstetrician sent her home.
    As she neared childbirth, Jami wanted her mother around, but Steve had made it clear that if Judy came to the hospital when Jami was in labor, he wouldn’t be there. He had long since stopped being a real member of the Hagel family, and he resented Judy the most.
    “I had been told numerous times,” Judy said, “that if I didn’t stay out of their business, I wouldn’t see Jami.”
    When Jami went into labor a few weeks later, Judy wanted so much to be with her, but she forced herself to stay home. Jami called her mother at about 11:30 that night, but Judy said, “I was scared to go.” She didn’t want to cause trouble in Jami’s marriage, and Steve was so volatile. However, when Jami was in hard labor and near delivery, Steve himself called Judy at 1:00 A.M. and said that Jami wanted her.
    “So then I said okay,” Judy recalled. “I did go, and I was with her while she was in labor. I was with her when she gave birth.”
    After hours of hard labor, Jami gave birth to a baby boy. Chris* Sherer was to be the most important thing in her life.
    Jami’s life grew happier after the birth of her wonderful, healthy baby boy. She was a devoted mother and very careful with Chris. Although Steve enjoyed showing him off, Jami didn’t really trust him to stay with the baby. Steve was not a caregiver and she feared he would get distracted by something he wanted to do and forget about the baby. She didn’t complain about that, but she only rarely left Steve alone with Chris. Luckily, Judy Hagel was happy to baby-sit when Jami had to go out. Eventually, Jami’s maternity leave was up and she had to return to work at Microsoft.
    Steve was out of work, a fairly common situation, and he said he would look after Chris. Vaguely worried, Jami agreed—until she came home one day and found the floor covered with broken glass. Steve had deliberately smashed all their framed wedding pictures in one of his fits of rage. Chris could have crawled in the glass and cut himself badly; at the very least, he must have been witness to his father’s tantrum.
    The next day, Jami placed Chris in day care. If she had to be gone on a weekend, Jami could usually count on her mother to look after Chris. One weekend, Jami called Judy to ask her to baby-sit because Steve wanted to go someplace and Jami had a commitment. But Judy couldn’t get off work early enough to suit Steve. “Jerry