Equal Rites

I?”
    “They’re horrible Things!” Esk sobbed. “He wouldn’t call out to them, he wants everything that they’re not, and you’re a wicked old—”
    The slap rang like a bell. Esk staggered back, white with shock. Granny stood with her hand upraised, trembling.
    She’d struck Esk once before—the blow a baby gets to introduce it to the world and give it a rough idea of what to expect from life. But that had been the last time. In their years under the same roof there had been cause enough, when milk had been left to boil over or the goats had been carelessly left without water, but a sharp word or a sharper silence had done more than force ever could and left no bruises.
    She grabbed Esk firmly by the shoulders and stared into her eyes.
    “Listen to me,” she said urgently. “Didn’t I always say to you that if you use magic you should go through the world like a knife goes through water? Didn’t I say that?”
    Esk, mesmerized like a cornered rabbit, nodded.
    “And you thought that was just old Granny’s way, didn’t you? But the fact is that if you use magic you draw attention to yourself. From Them. They watch the world all the time. Ordinary minds are just vague to them, they hardly bother with them, but a mind with magic in it shines out, you see, it’s a beacon to them. It’s not darkness that calls Them, it’s light, light that creates the shadows!”
    “But—but—why are They interested? What do They w-want?”
    “Life and shape,” said Granny.
    She sagged, and let go of Esk.
    “They’re pathetic, really,” she said. “They’ve got no life or shape themselves but what they can steal. They could no more survive in this world than a fish could live in a fire, but that doesn’t stop Them trying. And they’re just bright enough to hate us because we’re alive.”
    Esk shivered. She remember the gritty feel of the cold sand.
    “What are They? I always thought they were just a sort—a sort of demon?”
    “Nah. No one really knows. They’re just the Things from the Dungeon Dimensions outside the universe, that’s all. Shadow creatures.”
    She turned back to the prone form of Simon.
    “You wouldn’t have any idea where he is, would you?” she said, looking shrewdly at Esk. “Not gone off flying with the seagulls, has he?”
    Esk shook her head.
    “No,” said Granny, “I didn’t think so. They’ve got him, haven’t they.”
    It wasn’t a question. Esk nodded, her face a mask of misery.
    “It’s not your fault,” said Granny, “His mind gave Them an opening, and when he was knocked out they took it back with them. Only…”
    She drummed her fingers on the edge of the bed, and appeared to reach a decision.
    “Who’s the most important wizard around here?” she demanded.
    “Um, Lord Cutangle,” said Esk. “He’s the Archchancellor. He was one of the ones who was in here.”
    “The fat one, or the one like a streak of vinegar?”
    Esk dragged her mind from the image of Simon on the cold desert and found herself saying: “He’s an Eighth Level wizard and a 33° mage, actually.”
    “You mean he’s bent?” said Granny. “All this hanging around wizards has made you take them seriously, my girl. They all call themselves the Lord High this and the Imperial That, it’s all part of the game. Even magicians do it, you’d think they’d be more sensible at least, but no, they call around saying they’re the Amazing-Bonko-and-Doris. Anyway, where is this High Rumtiddlypo?”
    “They’ll be at dinner in the Great Hall,” said Esk. “Can he bring Simon back, then?”
    “That’s the difficult part,” said Granny. “I daresay we could all get something back easily enough, walking and talking just like anyone. Whether it would be Simon is quite another sack of ferrets.”
    She stood up. “Let’s find this Great Hall, then. No time to waste.”
    “Um, women aren’t allowed in,” said Esk.
    Granny stopped in the doorway. Her shoulders rose. She turned around very slowly.
    “ What did you say?” she said. “Did these old ears deceive me, and don’t say they did because they didn’t.”
    “Sorry,” said Esk. “Force of habit.”
    “I can see you’ve been getting ideas below your station,” said Granny coldly. “Go and find someone to watch over the lad, and let’s see what’s so great about this hall that I mustn’t set foot in it.”
    And thus it was that while the entire faculty of Unseen University were dining in the venerable hall