Existence 2.5 - Leif

were. I chose you. I didn’t know then what that meant. You can hate me but try to understand I am not my father.”

Pagan was quiet a moment and I began fixing a plate of food. “Who is your mother?”

My mother wasn’t someone I really wanted to discuss. Ever. But with Pagan I would share everything. Even the painful things. “My mother is Erzulie , she is the reason my skin is pale and my hair is blond. She’s the Voodoo Goddess of many things. Love being one… vengeance being another. She takes many lovers and enjoys the same things my father does. I see her on occasion but for the most part I live with my father. She has never had any desire for a child but then I’m not her only one. She has several, many of whom walk the earth. She is not above taking human men to her um… bed.”

Pagan took small bites of the pulled pork I’d brought her and I sighed in relief. She needed to eat. I didn’t like the idea of her starving. Father would make her immortal soon. But for now, she needed nourishment.

“You don’t talk like your father either. He has a bit of a Cajun accent.”

Finally, she was curious about me. “I’ve spent the majority of my life following you. I adopted your accent so I would fit in with your life. I didn’t want to appear to you as an outsider.”

“So all those dreams I’ve had are real? Those things really happened. Are there more memories I’ve forgotten?”

Those were only small tid - bits of our life together. There was so much I wanted her to remember, “Maybe a few more.” I replied.

“A few more? That’s all?”

I didn’t want to hide anything else from her. I’d hid so much already. I set my plate down and stood up. If I was going to tell her this, I needed to be able to pace. It helped me think. Besides, having her perched on my bed made it hard to concentrate on much of anything else . My mind kept going back to the time on her couch, before Dankmar had consumed her heart. I’d never been that close to anyone.

“I’ve been with you many times in your life. When you were lonely or sad, I was there. When you were in danger, I was there. It was what I did. Father said you were mine and I should protect you. So I did. I’m sorry that you don’t remember. It wasn’t something I did on purpose. It’s just that I am soulless and your soul can’t remember me for long when I’m not near you.”

“Why did you want me to remember those times? The ones you’d picked out for me to dream about?”

I stopped and turned to stare directly at her. “Because those were the times I fell a little more in love with you.”

“You don’t love me, Lief . If you loved me you’d never have been able to hold me against my will.”

“I’ve told you I can’t control my father. He saved your life. He owns you Pagan.”

“No one owns me.”

She didn’t understand. I began to fear she never would. “I don’t want to argue with you. Not tonight. Let’s just eat. Okay?”

I went back to my plate and we ate in silence. When Pagan set her plate down, I did the same. “Are you full?” I asked standing in order to clean up our meal.

“Yes,” she mumbled.

I couldn’t make her forgive me. Tonight, I’d had all of this I could handle. Turning I headed for the door to leave her once again, alone. Just before I reached the door I turned back and tried one more time.

“What can I do to prove to you that I do love you? Anything except letting you go ; because I can’t. I’ll do whatever else you ask of me. I want you to accept this. Us. Just tell me.”

She stared back at me without saying anything for a few moments. Then finally she replied. “Release Wyatt to a transporter. Don’t keep him here.”

Could this be the way to win her heart? “If I can convince my father to release Wyatt to a transporter then you will believe I love you and you’ll let this work between us?”

“Yes, if you hand Wyatt’s soul over to a transporter and I get to see this happen. Once I know it has happened and that his soul is where it belongs then I will stay with you. I’ll do whatever I can to make you happy. To make… us… happy.”

We could be happy. I’d make this happen. No matter what I had to do, I’d make this happen. “You have a deal. Get some rest Pagan. Tomorrow is a new day and I can’t wait to start eternity with you.”

12. “I can get you both out of here… alive.” - Leif

Father wasn’t go ing to be easy to convince when it came to