Facade

bandaged.
    “Talk to me, Nicky,” Jonas pleaded, taking Nicky’s hand in his and rubbing his finger over the back.
    Nicky moaned softly. “Can’t talk. Can’t think right now.” He let his head fall back on the couch and closed his eyes.
    “Then let me take you to bed so you can sleep it off.” Jonas got up and held out his hand to Nicky.

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    “Why?” Nicky suddenly asked, sitting up and stopping midway to steady himself as if he needed to swallow away a bout of nausea. He ignored Jonas’s offer, though.
    “Why what?”
    “Why are you so nice to me?”
    “For starters, you’re my lover and that’s what lovers do for each other.” Jonas knew that if Nicky wasn’t happy when he was drunk, he could get mighty melancholy, so he tried to play nice for now, knowing they could always have a serious discussion in the morning, or at least after Nicky’s hangover disappeared.
    “I don’t deserve it.”
    “Probably not,” Jonas chuckled, beckoning toward Nicky with his outstretched hand. “I don’t even want to know what you’ve been up to,” he added casually, bending down to take Nicky’s hand in an attempt to get him off the couch and onto his feet.
    “I slept around on you when you were gone.” Jonas let go of Nicky’s hand. He didn’t know how to respond to what his lover had just confessed to and tried to gauge the purpose of the admission. He knew Nicky hadn’t been unfaithful to him before, but they’d discussed that physically they couldn’t be faithful because of Jonas’s work. Emotionally they were monogamous. That was what they’d agreed on many times, so if Nicky told him he’d slept around, it must mean he’d fallen in love with someone else. It would explain his standoffishness and the fact that Nicky was avoiding being alone with him.
    Jonas sat down in the chair next to the sofa, resting his elbows on his knees and letting his head fall between his shoulders. “We discussed before that physically—”
    “Yeah, I know,” Nicky interrupted, purposely avoiding crossing eyes with Jonas.
    “So you fell in love with someone else?” Jonas continued quietly. Hearing himself say the words hurt, but he wanted to be sure. Mentally he was already packing his bags and moving back to his house in Spain.

    Façade
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    “No!” Nicky said. “It didn’t mean anything. I was drunk and I knew him from before… before you.”
    “Was it Josh?” Jonas asked blandly.
    “No. It’s nobody you know and it didn’t mean anything.” Nicky’s words mellowed Jonas somewhat. He couldn’t hold it against Nicky if there weren’t any feelings involved. He slept with his clients and he had at least some sort of friendship with them, so in all honesty, Nicky had more reason to be jealous than Jonas did.
    Jonas moved to sit closer to Nicky again, sensing that his lover’s unease hadn’t abated. If it wasn’t feelings, there had to be something else. Then it dawned on him.
    “Was it safe?”
    Nicky closed his eyes, and tears rolled down his face.
    “Oh, man.” Jonas pulled Nicky into his arms and squeezed him tightly as Nicky sobbed.
    “I don’t know, Jonas,” Nicky managed to squeeze out of his heaving chest. For a moment he buried himself deep into Jonas’s caress, but then he pulled away and got up to put as much space between them as possible.
    “Nicky? Nick?” Jonas called after him and lit one of the small lights to get a better look. “You’ll have to get tested, but I’m sure it’ll be okay.”
    It took Jonas some time to get Nicky to calm down and allow him closer again. He knew that Nicky’s emotions were augmented by whatever he’d taken or drunk at the party and that if he gave his lover some time, he’d see sense.
    Eventually they settled against the far wall of the living room and Jonas managed to put his arm around Nicky without his lover feeling the need to pull away.
    “What if he gave me something, Jonas?”
    “It’s always possible, I suppose,” Jonas answered truthfully, tenderly caressing Nicky’s curly hair. “That’s why we get tested.” 178
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    “It’s not that simple when you’re famous. It’ll be all over the tabloids in no time.”
    Jonas sighed. “I can recommend a doctor in London. He’s very discreet. He’s tested me numerous times since the big scare in the eighties and it never went outside of his practice. He even lets you come in after hours so there are no secretaries to worry about, and he