Fangirl

horrible, narcissistic bitch who gets off on her ex-boyfriend’s affection.”
    “Agreed,” Reagan said, holding out her hand.
    “Do we really have to shake on this?”
    “Yes.”
    “Levi and I might not even be anything, you know. We haven’t even gone on a date. “
    Reagan smiled tightly. “I don’t think so. I’ve got a good/bad feeling about this. Shake.”
    Cath reached out and shook her hand.
    “Now, get up,” Reagan said. “I’m hungry.”
    *   *   *
    As soon as Reagan left for work that afternoon, Cath jumped up from her desk and started going through her closet to figure out what to wear. Probably a T-shirt with a cardigan and jeans. There was nothing in Cath’s closet that wasn’t a T-shirt, a cardigan, or jeans. She laid her options out on the bed. Then she went looking for something she’d bought at a flea market last year—a little green knit collar that fastened with an antique pink button.
    She wondered where Levi would take her.
    Her first date with Abel had been to a movie. Wren and some of their other friends had come, too. After that, going out with Abel usually just meant hanging out at the bakery or studying up in Cath’s room. Swim meets during swim season. Math contests. Those probably weren’t dates, come to think of it. She wasn’t going to tell Levi that her last date had been at a math contest.
    Cath looked at the clothes she’d laid out and wished that Wren were here to help. She wished that she’d talked to Wren about Levi before they’d started fighting.… Which would have been last year, before Cath had even met him.
    What would Wren say if she were here? Pretend that he likes you more than you like him. It’s like buying a car—you have to be willing to walk away.
    No … that was the kind of advice Wren gave herself. What would she say to Cath? Stop frowning. We’re prettier when we smile. Are you sure you don’t want to do a shot?
    God, thinking about Wren was just making Cath feel worse. Now she felt nervous and sad. And lonely.
    It was a relief when Reagan kicked in the door and started talking about dinner.
    *   *   *
    “Wear your hair down,” Reagan said, tearing a piece of pizza in half. “You have good hair.”
    “That comment is definitely against the ground rules,” Cath said, taking a bite of cottage cheese. “Number three, I think.”
    “I know.” Reagan shook her head. “But you’re so helpless sometimes. It’s like watching a kitten with its head trapped in a Kleenex box.”
    Cath rolled her eyes. “I don’t want to feel like I have to look different for him all of a sudden. It’ll seem lame.”
    “It’s lame to want to look nice on a date? Levi is shaving right now, I promise you.”
    Cath winced. “Stop. No insider Levi information.”
    “That’s insider guy information. That’s how dates work.”
    “He already knows what I look like,” Cath said. “There’s no point in being tricky about it now.”
    “How is doing your hair—and maybe putting on some lip gloss—being tricky?”
    “It’s like I’m trying to distract him with something shiny.” Cath circled her spoon hand in front of her face, accidentally flicking cottage cheese on her sweater. “He already knows about all this. This is what I look like.” She tried to scrape the cottage cheese off without rubbing it in.
    Reagan leaned across the table and grabbed the clip out of Cath’s hair. It slumped over her ears and into her eyes.
    “There,” Reagan said. “Now that’s what you look like. Presto chango. ”
    “Oh my God,” Cath said, grabbing her clip out of Reagan’s hand and immediately twisting her hair back up. “Was that a Simon Snow reference?”
    Now Reagan rolled her eyes. “Like you’re the only one who’s read Simon Snow. Like it isn’t a global phenomenon.”
    Cath started giggling.
    Reagan scowled at her. “What are you eating anyway? Are those peaches in your cottage cheese?”
    “Isn’t it disgusting?” Cath said. “You kinda get used to it.”
    *   *   *
    When they turned down the hallway, they could see Levi sitting against their door. In no circumstances would Cath ever run squealing down the hall into his arms. But she did her version of that—she smiled tensely and looked away.
    “Hey,” Levi said, sliding up the door to his feet.
    “Hey,” Reagan said.
    Levi ruffled the top of his hair sheepishly, like he wasn’t sure which one of them to smile at. “You ready?” he asked Cath while