Fate's Edge

heart.
    “That’s right. Don’t forget whose rolpies are pulling your boat.” Walking up to the front door was still a better way to go. Getting through the wards without noise would be impossible. Suppose something went wrong with Audrey’s brilliant plan. How many guards would they have to deal with?
    “Uncle?”
    “Mmm?”
    “Arturo Pena. He’s a slaver. A scumbag.”
    “Yes?”
    “Why don’t we just kill him?”
    Kaldar paused.
    Gaston shrugged. “With the equipment we have, we could slice through that ward. Walk in, kill him, and once his guys realized that their paycheck was dead, they would scatter.”
    “You’ve spent too much time with the wolf,” Kaldar said.
    “William is efficient.”
    “He is that.” This would have to be said just right. “What’s the difference between you and me and a murderer?”
    “A murderer kills out of passion or for money. We kill for our country.”
    Kaldar shook his head. “We kill to keep our people safe. ‘Country’ has a nice ring to it, but it doesn’t really get to the heart of the matter. Families, Gaston. Our family. Your brothers, your cousins, uncles, aunts, grandmother. We do this so they can sleep in their beds at night, worry about their daily problems, and have delicious berry wine on their porch while their kids play in the grass.”
    Gaston smirked. “I never knew you were all about noble purpose and grandeur.”
    “I’m not. Tell me, what do you want out of this life?”
    “Vengeance for our family.”
    “And then?”
    The boy shrugged again. “I don’t know.”
    “You think, eventually you might want to be like those people we’re protecting and start a family?”
    “Sure.”
    “You might find some funny girl to be your wife, have some kids, someone to come home to?”
    “Yeah, I guess it would be nice.”
    “This job, if you let it, will burn every shred of humanity out of your soul. It will chew you up and spit out an empty husk. If you don’t take care, you’ll be hollow like an empty casket. No pretty, funny girl for your wife, no home, no love, no laughter, nothing.” Kaldar paused to make sure it sank in. “You’ve seen the old Mirror agents. They walk jingling enough medals on their chests to be their own marching bands, but their eyes are dead. That isn’t what you want.”
    “At the end of the day, they know they’ve done their job.”
    “That satisfaction doesn’t keep them warm at night. It’s no substitute for a life or a clear conscience.” Kaldar pointed at the house. “Every time you get into a situation like this, I want you to think of our family. If one of us asks you why you killed or maimed or tortured, you need to be able with a clear conscience to say, ‘There was no other way.’”
    “William . . .”
    “William has Cerise,” Kaldar said. “And she has a temper, and she kills, but she is also kind and compassionate. Cerise seeks balance in all things. William listens to her because he knows she has something he lacks. It’s not his fault; the Adrianglians did their best to murder any humanity he had in him when he was a child. And even he has some lines he won’t cross. I once saw him run into an open field, in plain view of the enemy’s guns and bows, to save Lark, with no regard for his own life.”
    “That was different! Lark is a kid.”
    “Can you tell me for sure that there are no children in that house? Can you tell me that one won’t run out and be caught in the cross fire? Are you prepared to murder Pena while his family watches?”
    Gaston opened his mouth and closed it.
    “You must hold on to your humanity, nephew, so when it’s time to return to your house for a family dinner, you can do so as a happy man. At some point, you will have a son or a daughter. When you come home, you need to be able to look your wife and children in the eye.”
    Gaston looked at the house.
    “We kill only when we have no other choice. Is Pena a scumbag? Sure he is. But he’s outside of the scope of our job. We are not judges. Remember, we do only what is necessary. We need his money, and we’ll take it—because it’s dirty and we can. But until he levels a gun on another human being, we will not take his life. Am I clear?”
    “Yes, Uncle.”
    “Good.”
    They fell silent.
    Gaston stirred. “If it helps, Audrey checked your ass out before she took off.”
    “She did?”
    Audrey slipped next to Gaston. “I did what?”
    “Nothing!” Kaldar and Gaston chorused.
    “Shh.”