Fear of Falling

beamed as he walked in, a man in scrubs right behind him. A young woman dressed in penguin-adorned scrubs followed.
    “Miss Duvall, how do you feel?” the man I presumed to be a doctor asked, picking up my chart at the foot of the bed.
    “Ok, I guess.”
    Doctor Lovett, who had been the one to perform the surgery to repair my small, yet worrisome, skull fracture two days ago, performed a series of simple tests to ensure there wasn’t a lag in brain function. The bandages hugging the circumference of my head, as well as the ones on my face, were itching like a bitch, but he insisted I leave them be.
    “Dr. Ramini, our resident plastic surgeon, will be in to talk about your options.”
    “Plastic surgeon? My options?” I wanted to frown but the medical tape pulling my skin was like cheap, bootleg Botox.
    “Miss Duvall, you suffered quite a bit of cosmetic damage to your face from the attack. Since the swelling from your head injury has subsided drastically, I think it’s safe to go ahead and proceed with Dr. Ramini once we get the appropriate scans done. I assure you; he’s the best in the state.”
    I sat staring at him like he was speaking a different language, unable to fully digest his words. My face? He …had ruined my face?
    “The police have been waiting to speak to you for quite some time. They should be up shortly. In the meantime, try to relax and I’ll be back shortly to get those tests started. Nurse Claire will give you something for pain management,” Dr. Lovett said, gently patting my shin before exiting the room. Well, at least that didn’t hurt.
    My eyes darted between Dom and Angel as soon as we were alone again. “What happened to me? What’s wrong?”
    “Nothing’s wrong, sweetheart,” Dom said softly, leaning over to kiss me on the forehead. I wanted to swat him away, but one arm was in a sling and the other had been skewered with an IV line.
    “You know what I mean. What did he do to my face?”
    My roommates looked at each other before returning their solemn gazes to me. I could see the sympathy welling in their eyes.
    “Well? Is somebody going to talk?”
    Dom cleared his throat. “Kam, babe… he …uh…” He took a deep breath before grasping my hand. “Your father used a belt on you. And, uh, the impact, plus the buckle, tore some of the skin from your face, neck and shoulder.” Tears spilled from his eyes as he awaited my reaction.
    “I see,” was all I could say. What could I say to that?
    “Part of your ear was torn off, and you have some bruising along your cheekbone.”
    I nodded, letting understanding seep into my groggy, Morphine-riddled brain. My father had finally done it. He had taken everything from me. Everything…
    “Did he rape me?” I deadpanned, not a trace of emotion in my voice.
    “Um, Kam,” Angel chimed in. “A psychiatrist will be in soon to talk to you about the attack. We were able to convince the staff here to let us break the news about everything else because of how…fragile you are…”
    “Fragile?” I snorted. “I’m not fragile. To be fragile I’d have to be breakable. You obviously can’t break what’s already broken.”
    “Kam, you aren’t broken,” Dom interjected.
    “Aren’t I? Look at me.”
    Dom and Angel both let their eyes drop to the floor.
    “I said look at me, dammit!” It hurt to shout, but I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything. Not the pain, not my face, nothing. I felt nothing. I was nothing.
    My friends brought their gazes to my torn face and simultaneously cringed, confirming my suspicions. I was a freak show.
    “Now tell me: do I look like someone who is put together? Who has been repaired? Do I look like I’m ok?”
    The two of them didn’t answer. They didn’t have to. The horror was written all over their faces.
    “Again…did he rape me?”
    A long, torturous beat passed before Angel shook her head. “He tried, but he didn’t get a chance to, uh…go all the way before we found you.”
    Relief washed over me in waves, but I didn’t show it. I kept my expression stoic. Detached. Cold. “Well, it’s a good thing you showed up in time to stop him.”
    “Actually, we have Blaine to thank for that.”
    Blaine?
    Oh no. Blaine.
    “He knows?” I screeched. I wanted to widen my eyes in terror, but they wouldn’t budge. Fuck.
    “It was because of him that we found you in time. He insisted we drive him back to the apartment to…”
    “He saw me like this?!” I damn near