Fear of Falling

escaped her red glossy lips. “I told you; it’s the best.”
    I sighed with contentment then returned Angel’s brand new, very expensive, top-of-the-line guitar to her waiting hands. “Well, it certainly sounds like it. Too bad I can’t even think about a new one until I find a job,” I frowned, diverting my attention back to the listings on my laptop screen.
    “I told you, Kami; you don’t have to worry about rent,” Angel remarked, strumming a tune of her own. She hummed along with the melody.
    I let out a breath then looked back up at her. “There’s no way I am skipping out on rent. What Dom and I pay is already peanuts. Plus, I am getting sick of you two feeling like you have to foot the bill for every outing.”
    “Well, you know you could always dip into your money…” she said, her voice trailing off into a whisper at the end.
    I gave her a stoic look. “No. Absolutely not. I’m not touching it and I don’t want it.”
    “Kami, that money is yours. It was owed to you. You have every right to spend it.”
    “No,” I answered, shaking my head. “It was owed to my mother about fifteen years ago. It can rot away at the bank for all I care.”
    I wanted the satisfaction of earning my own way, not taking something that my mother could have desperately used to raise me. But Angel Cassidy, bless her heart, knew nothing about that. She came from money—old money. And since her parents were ultra-conservative and didn’t accept her sexuality, or “lifestyle choices” as they called it, they were more than happy to buy her a plush condo, car, and anything else her pretty little heart desired to keep her from showing up at the country club in her scandalous rocker motif with a busty groupie on her arm.
    I went back to scouring the Help Wanted ads while Angel jotted down lyrics as they came to her. Seeing my frustration at the lack of options, she asked, “Why don’t you just go back to the firm? I’m sure Kenneth would be professional about the whole thing.”
    I shook my head. No, that definitely wouldn’t be a good idea. “I can’t, Angel. You didn’t see the pain on his face. I really wounded him.”
    “But it’s been a couple weeks. Maybe he’s gotten over it. I’m sure he wouldn’t hold a grudge.”
    “Angel, honey, I was his secretary and he is a partner at his firm. And I basically told him I didn’t want him anymore after he confessed to being in love with me and seeing a future for us. Does that sound like a situation that’s easy to get over?” I asked with a raised brow.
    “But you guys only dated for a couple months! And a guy like Kenneth…he’s probably too concerned about his reputation to make a scene on the job.”
    I shrugged and let out a breath. “Well, it doesn’t matter anyway. It was a temp job; you can’t just pop up whenever you feel like it. I just hope that he finds what he’s looking for…with someone capable of returning his affections.”
    “Sorry,” Angel whispered, her lower lip jutted out.
    I gave her a sincere smile. “Don’t be. I made a huge mistake getting involved with someone on the job, especially my boss. You live and you learn, and I certainly won’t be doing that again. Plus, I’m used to…being this way. I wish I could say I was used to hurting people but I don’t think anyone gets used to being a cold, heartless bitch.”
    Angel propped her custom-detailed pink guitar against its stand and came over to wrap her arms around me. “Kamilla Duvall, you are not a cold, heartless bitch. You just haven’t met the one worth giving your heart to. So it’s just a little harder to find because you’ve been burying it for so long.”
    I squeezed her forearm circled around my chest and rested my head against hers. “Thanks, boo.”
    “And since you won’t take me up on my offer of love, affection and mind-blowing sex, I highly doubt we’ll be excavating it any time soon,” she snickered.
    I gave the blonde bombshell a pinch on her thigh and pushed her away. “Ewww, Angel! You know that will never happen. I am strictly dickly,” I laughed.
    She made her way back to her guitar, shaking with laughter. “Well, it’s been hard to tell, seeing as there haven’t been any dicks coming through here in a while.”
    I stuck my tongue out at her though I knew she was right. “But between you and Dom, there’s been plenty of pussies. Pussy galore!”
    “Hey did someone say my name?” a deep voice called from behind us. We spun