Find You in the Dark

with aching tenderness. “I'm not going.” He said adamantly. I blinked in confusion. “You're not? But I thought your parents had control over that stuff. I mean, what choice do you have?” I asked him.
    Clay threaded his fingers through my hair. “I'm not going. I won't let them shut me away like a damn dog. I'm leaving. Tonight.” He said and I stilled. “Where will you go?” I asked, feeling the panic of our situation grip me tightly.
    “I don't know. I just know that I have to get out of here. But I wanted to see you again. I needed you to know that I love you. There was no way I could take off without seeing your face and letting you know that my heart is yours. Always.”
    He was leaving. This was it. Everything we had was coming to an end in my bedroom. Who knew when I'd see him again? If ever.
    Clay gently touched the butterfly I still wore around my neck. “You are my butterfly, baby.” He whispered before pulling me back into his arms. I could feel his tension as he held me. I was taken over by an all consuming panic at the thought of him leaving me behind. How could I go on with my life without him? That just didn't seem possible.
    So I made a spur of the moment decision.
    “I'm going with you.” I told him, pulling away. Clay frowned and shook his head. “No way, Maggie. You have friends and a family that love you. You can not give up your life for me. I've already taken so much from you. Don't do this! I'd never forgive myself.” Clay caressed my face with his fingers. I reached up and held his hand to my face.
    “I can't live here without you! I'm not giving up anything, because you are my life! You are not allowed to make this choice for me. I choose to be with you. You will always be my choice!” I said emphatically, trying to get him to see reason.
    Clay shook his head again. “No! You aren't coming with me.” He started to get to his feet. I jumped up after him and grabbed his arms. “If you leave me here, Clay I will never forgive you! You will only be showing me that everything you've said is a lie. You told me I was your forever! Now prove it!” I implored desperately.
    Clay looked torn. I knew he wanted to do what was best for me. But I also knew how badly he needed me. “It doesn't really matter what you say, I'm coming.” I said when he hadn't responded. I went to my closet and pulled out my duffel bag. Going to my drawers I grabbed handfuls of underwear and bras. Shirts, jeans, pajamas.
    When I was finished, I pulled on a pair of jeans and a heavy sweatshirt, grabbing my fleece jacket off of the chair. After I was dressed, I turned to look at Clay. “How can I let you give up everything for me like this? It's not right!” He sounded sadly resigned. I went over and wrapped my arms around him.
    I looked up into his gorgeous face and knew that my life began with him. And that it would end with him. “I am not giving up anything. I'm getting what I've wanted since I ran into you on your first day of school.” Clay's mouth quirked up into a smile at the memory. “I'm getting a life with you. That's what I want. Nothing else.” I assured him.
    Clay hugged me tightly. “I love you.” He whispered into my hair. I untangled myself from him and tugged on his arm. “We should get going.” I said and Clay hesitated. “Are you going to leave a note? I mean, your parents are going to be really worried.”
    I felt a pang of guilt thinking about my parents finding my empty bed in the morning. It gutted me to hurt them like this. I looked at my beautiful boy and all doubts left my mind. He needed me and that was all that mattered.
    “I'll call them.” Clay arched his eyebrow at me. “I will. I promise.” I grabbed my cell phone to make the point. Clay let out a deep breath and took my hand. “Okay, let's do this.” We quietly crept out of my bedroom and made our way down the stairs.
    Once we were outside the house, I stopped and looked at him questioningly. “How did you get in my room, by the way?” I asked. Clay looked at me sheepishly. “I um...well, I climbed the tree.” I looked at the side of the house to the enormous Maple that grew beside my window. “But you hate heights.” I said, a little in awe.
    Clay shrugged as we walked down the street toward my car. “Well, let's just say it took me awhile to get up there. But it was worth it.” He looked at me sideways and my heart thudded against my chest. “Yeah, totally worth it.” I agreed, smiling.

    I