Find You in the Dark

“Hold on.” I told her, covering the mouth piece with my hand. “Hey, Clay.” I whispered. Clay turned around, not really meeting my eyes. His expression was cold. Great, he was totally regretting our little moment earlier. Whatever, I could play the I- don't- care game with the best of them.
    “Do you want to ride with me and Rachel?” Clay shrugged. “I can just meet you guys there. Don't worry about me.” He said, turning back around, walls firmly in place. His nerves from earlier seemed to have taken a back seat to his need to stay away from me. I suppressed a sigh and returned to my conversation with Rachel. “Eight-thirty sound good to you?” I asked her, trying to sound more upbeat. The truth was I was bummed that Clay wouldn't be going to the party with me. Sure he said he'd meet us there, but it's not the same as actually arriving together.
    “Sounds fab. I'll see you then.” And with that, Rachel hung up. I put my phone on the table and picked up my jacket. Jamming my arms through the sleeves I roughly zipped it up with an annoyed huff. Clay turned at the noise and looked surprised. “You leaving already?” He asked me. I met his eyes defiantly. I was hurt by his attitude after our near kiss minutes earlier. Maybe I was setting all my hopes on something that most certainly wouldn't happen. But it didn't stop the stop the sting. I just wanted to get out of there, put some space between me and this moody boy who I felt that I would never understand.
    Clay's face softened, as if he were reading my thoughts. “Okay then.” He said quietly, taking a small step toward me. I held my ground, not moving toward or away from him. “Guess I'll see you tonight. You're not going to bail at the last minute are you?” I asked him, frustrated by the needy note to my voice. “No, I'll be there. Wild horses couldn't keep me away.” He said with his ironic smile. I didn't smile back, my feelings still hurt too much.
    I turned away and walked toward the door. “See you then.” I called over my shoulder, refusing to show how badly I wanted that moment to happen. How much I wanted him to call me back, pull me in his arms, and kiss me senseless. When did I become this gooey romantic? When did I become freaking Rachel? I shuddered.
    “Maggie.” He stopped me with the sound of my name on his lips. I didn't turn around and he made no move to come any closer. Every second that passed amped up the angst level to an unbearable degree. Did he realize how much I wanted him? Needed him with a passion that scared me? Or was he a dolt just like Daniel?
    Clay cleared his throat. “I can't wait to see you tonight.” He said, almost strangling on his words. My cheeks flushed hot. I nodded again with my back to him, and left.
    Dolt it was.
    Once outside with the door firmly closed behind me, I sagged. I wasn't sure how long I could keep up this “friendship.” Not when I wanted so much more. I'd never experienced anything like the crazy feelings that Clayton stirred up inside of me and I didn't know what to do about it. There had been about thirty seconds there when I just knew he wanted the same thing I did before the window slammed shut.
    Was I expecting too much too fast? Maybe I was being pushy and inconsiderate of Clay's feelings and needs. Should I back off and let him come to me when he was ready? As great and thoughtful as that all sounded, it so wasn't me. I wasn't one to sit back and wait for shit to happen. So that's why this whole will- they-won't- they thing was exhausting. But I didn't want to give up. Clay was worth more than that. Our friendship was something special and I couldn't ruin that.
    I chuckled to myself and I headed home. Damn it if Daniel hadn't been right -(not that I would EVER tell him that-). He had told me that one day I would get what all the fuss was about, and that day had just arrived.

Chapter Seven

    “It's packed! I don't even recognize half of these people.” I whined as Rachel and I parked my Corolla in the field behind Melissa James's house. Rachel pulled the visor down and touched up her lip gloss and fluffed her hair. “Awesome! I'm down with meeting some new people tonight.” Rachel said, pulling on her pink cardigan.
    I was less enthused about getting out of the car. The thing I had always liked about Melissa's parties was that they were usually small and relatively controlled with no more than eighty or so people. I could relax and hang out without dealing with