For the Love of a Son: One Afghan Woman's Quest for Her Stolen Child

three wives attempted to suppress their jealousy and
anger. But with each passing day, Ahmed Khail’s favoritism grew
more pronounced, creating further bitterness, which only resulted
in an even bigger volcano of hate against the new lady of the
galah.
    Obviously Ahmed Khail remained sexually drawn
to his young wife, for she bore him three children, one after the
other, within three years. These three children were daughters,
named Peekai, Zerlasht and Noor. The fact Mayana had given birth to
three daughters delighted the Khan’s jealous wives and older sons.
In those days no one knew what science tells us now, namely that
fathers are responsible for the sex of a child, so mothers bore the
burden of blame. Those wives who did not bear sons were scorned and
ridiculed. During this time, one of the older wives gave birth to a
son, named Shahmast, adding to the older wives’ glee that Mayana
alone was known as the ‘mother of daughters’, a terrible slur in a
culture that only values male children.
    In 1917, German agents began to foment unrest
in Afghanistan in an attempt to entice Afghan’s ruler to join
Germany’s cause against Russia during War World I. But the wise
Amir remained stubbornly neutral in that conflict. In that same
year my grandmother’s status was escalated when she, his most
favoured wife, bore the Khan his long-awaited son. The child was my
father, Ajab Khail. The servants and soldiers of the galah erupted
in festive celebration. But congratulations from the Khan’s three
older wives and heir Shair were muted.
    For the first two years of my father’s life
he flourished, for love was enthusiastically bestowed on him by his
mother and father, three older sisters and the many servants. But
Mayana’s joy would not last much longer.
    For more years than Afghan people could
remember, they had been harassed and buffeted by rebellions and
wars. Rival factions often stirred internal strife that was fierce
but generally brief. Other wars brought about by external forces
created more chaos. That’s what happened in 1919 when new tensions
led to a conflict with the British Empire. My father was two years
old. The problems began when Afghanistan’s king Amir Habibullah, an
astute reformer who had kept Afghanistan at peace for many years,
was assassinated. Upon his death, his son Amir Amanullah succeeded
to the throne. Less experienced than his father at forging good
relations with powerful nations, the successor was soon embroiled
in a petty quarrel with the British. The young king quickly turned
to a military solution. With the end of the devastating Great War
in Europe, he believed the British were so weakened that his forces
would be strong enough to defeat British India.
    An eager call to arms went through
Afghanistan, and the Khan of the Khail tribe, Ahmed Khail, husband
to Mayana and father to my father, gathered hundreds of his
warriors around him. His heir, Shair, was a general in the Afghan
military and headed his own fighting force. And so the leader and
the heir of the Khail tribe both marched to war, leaving nervous
women and servants behind.
    Although the Afghan fighting force were ill
equipped, they were tenacious warriors. On 3 May 1919, Afghan
troops battled their way across the Indian border and occupied the
village of Bagh.
    The British responded with a greater force
and fierce battles ensued. The well-equipped and well-trained
British soldiers quickly gained the upper hand and drove the Afghan
invasion from Indian territory. Airpower was a new and excellent
asset, allowing the British to extend their reach beyond the
border, even threatening the Amir’s own castle when they bombed
near the capital, Kabul.
    During a battle melee, my grandfather Ahmed
Khail received a fatal wound when he was shot in his left eye.
Tragically, his death did not come at the moment of the bullet’s
entry into his brain. His passing was to be painfully slow. Shair
sent his wounded father across the famous Khyber Pass for treatment
by a British physician, who was living in what is today’s Pakistan,
but the strenuous journey on the back of a horse only added to
Grandfather’s anguish. He died on the way.
    After Grandfather Khail drew his last breath,
his men turned their horses to make a cheerless trek back to Paktia
province, to the galah where his wives and children were devastated
to learn of his death. Although the war was a tactical victory for
the British, King Amanullah managed to negotiate the