For the Love of a Son: One Afghan Woman's Quest for Her Stolen Child

to cross its borders. The British had tried to
occupy Afghanistan, as it was the shock absorber between their
interests in the area and Russia, but defeat and retreat had left
scattered British bones bleaching white in the hot Afghan sun.
    ‘Keep Out’ was the signal at every border
crossing, guarded by soldiers. Stone watchtowers were scattered
along the ancient caravan trails, the same trails that had been
used by Alexander the Great and Genghis Khan. There were no
railways or telegraph lines. Any products coming in or going out
were loaded on to pack animals, caravans consisting of donkeys,
horses, camels and even elephants.
    Cruelty was part of the culture, with
state-sanctioned punishments ranging from prisoners being fired
from cannons, beheadings by sabre, live burials, intentional
blinding or stoning. Perhaps the most merciless punishment came in
the form of starvation, when thieves were locked into metal cages
and raised high above the city centres on metal poles so their
friends couldn’t pass them poison or food. An agonizing death came
from lack of water and food, with the lucky ones dying more quickly
from either heatstroke or hypothermia, depending on the time of
year.
    A monarch ruled with undisputed authority,
but the royals were just as brutal to each other as they were to
their subjects. Many royal heirs were deliberately blinded, because
no man with a physical disability may hold a place of honour in
Afghanistan.
    Grandmother would have been around fifteen or
sixteen years old in 1913. The Amir of Afghanistan was having a lot
of trouble with outlaws, warrior bands carrying out raids across
the north, escaping into the Khost valley. That was also the year a
conspiracy against the Amir was discovered in Kabul. The
conspirators were exposed and stoned or stabbed to death, so
nothing came of the uprising. The land was abuzz with that news but
Grandmother probably wouldn’t have noticed the upheaval because
political matters were a subject solely limited to men. Her teenage
sights would have been firmly on her upcoming marriage.
    Grandmother’s beauty, rosy cheeks and bright
eyes would have brought many suitors to the family door but her
marriage had already been arranged at the time of her birth. She
was destined to become the bride of her very gentle first cousin,
the son of her father’s brother. Everyone was pleased with the
arrangement – Afghan culture encourages marriages between cousins –
but fate would intervene when Mayana’s exceptional beauty created a
diverging path.
    Government law backed by Afghan tribal
culture ruled that women were forced to veil, although
Grandmother’s family allowed the women to dart from one family home
to the other without a face covering since the houses were nestled
so close to each other. Nevertheless the women did dress with great
modesty, covering their bodies with cloaks and draping their heads
with scarves.
    And so it came to pass that one day in 1913,
when my grandmother stepped out of her father’s humble family home
to walk to her auntie’s house, at the same moment Ahmed Khail Khan,
the head of the Khail tribe, happened to pass by on his horse.
    Mayana’s classic beauty struck Ahmed Khail
with a passion so powerful he later claimed to have been rendered
speechless. A man accustomed to having all his wishes granted, he
decided instantly that he would make the village beauty his fourth
wife. Ahmed Khail Khan had already been married six times, but on
that particular day he had only three wives so there would be no
need to divorce any of them in order to take a fourth. Not only was
he the most powerful man in the Khail clan, he was a Pashtun Sunni
Muslim, and four wives are allowed by our Muslim religion.
    Although struck by great desire, Ahmed Khail
kept his composure, saying nothing at the time but noting his
surroundings so that he might send his emissary to arrange the
marriage. The following day the Khan’s representative appeared at
Mayana’s home, bearing many expensive gifts. The man presented the
treasures to Mayana’s astonished father, and at the same time asked
for his most beautiful daughter for Ahmed Khail, the leader of the
Khail tribe.
    Mayana’s father was an honorable man, and
although he was surely tempted by the great wealth and prestige
that would come to him and his family at such a connection, he
refused the Khan’s offer. He softly replied, ‘Our home is most
honored, but I cannot accept these fine gifts or the