Forever Too Far

you were . I loved you both so damn much that I broke down one night and told your mother about the baby I’d had with Becca Lynn and given up eight years before. For the first time I was broken up about losing a kid I had thought I didn’t want. Your mother made it her goal to find my child. She looked for years. Everything always led to another dead end. I eventually gave up. She never did.” Dad let out a sad laugh. “Then last year I was contacted by the investigator your mother had hired and he had a lead.  I hadn’t been expecting it. I didn’t know what to do with that information. That kid was an adult now. I was sure it was pointless. Then I got another call. My son wanted to meet me.”
         I tu rned in Rush’s arms to look at Captain. He was leaning against his boat looking out over the water but he was listening. His body was tense. He was waiting. Was he... did I have a brother?
         “Everything happened with you and I came clean. I needed to start over. Try to live the rest of my life the right way because all I’d done was fuck it up so far. The only good thing I’d ever done was loving your mother and being blessed with you and Valerie. So, I called my son and came down south to meet him,” he paused and nodded to Captain. “River Joshua Kipling also known as Captain, is your brother.”
          “Fuck,” Rush whispered and I felt like saying it too. Would my dad’s secrets never end?
          “Captain was your mother’s last gift to me. If she hadn’t been so determined to find him then I never would have gotten to know him.”
          My dad wasn’t as alone as I’d thought. I wasn’t angry or hurt. I was... happy. I was relieved. He had a lot in life to atone for. I knew he was atoning for not being the man he should’ve been, by having a relationship with his son. My baby kicked against his father’s hands and I couldn’t imagine handing over this baby. Never to know it or hold it. That had to be like losing a part of yourself. My dad hadn’t been a whole man since he was sixteen. Since he’d given a part of himself away. My heart broke for him and I eased out of Rush’s arms and walked over to my father.
          I wrapped both arms around his waist and held him. I didn’t have the words just yet to tell him that I was happy for him. I wasn’t sure if those words were even accurate. I was more than happy. I was thankful. It was time for him to heal. This was a part of that.
          “You okay with this, Blaire bear?” he asked, squeezing me in a hug.
         “I’m glad you found him,” I replied honestly. For right now that was the only thing I could say.
         “Thank you.” The emotion in his voice was thick.
         “Real glad I don’t have to beat your ass for loo king at my woman,” I heard Rush say and I smiled against my dad’s chest.

 
    RUSH
     
         We stayed for five more days and let Blaire get to know her brother. Captain was a lot easier to tolerate once I realized he wasn’t checking Blaire out in a sexual way. He was just curious about his sister. I understood that. But I was also glad to pack up and go home. It was only three weeks until Christmas and I wanted to spend that in Rosemary with Blaire. In our home. I also wanted to pin my last name on her and beat on my chest like a fucking crazy man.
          Blaire had gone straight to bed when we got back to Rosemary. She smiled happily when we walked inside then looked at me and told me unless I just wanted to snuggle to leave her alone while she went to take a nap.
         I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to just snuggle so I stayed downstairs and enjoyed being home. I got a soda from the fridge and headed out to sit on the deck and enjoy the gulf. I’d missed it. I hadn’t even gotten comfortable when I heard the door behind me open.
         Grant walked out and nodded at me before taking the seat beside me. We hadn’t spoken since the day before Thanksgiving when I’d called him about Nan. I had been busy and I was sure he was dodging me. Apparently, the Rosemary radar was working because we hadn’t been back for thirty minutes and he was already at my house. I hadn’t even realized Grant was in town. Normally he spent his winters skiing. Last I’d heard he was headed to Vail.
         “How is she?” w ere the first words out of his mouth.
         He wasn’t asking about Blaire. I knew from the sad tone in his