Forever Too Far

back home. I reached for my sundress and eased out of Rush’s arms then slipped it over my head.  I needed to go tell him about Rush being here. I hadn’t told him much of anything so he needed some explanation.
         Unlocking the door , I glanced back at Rush who was still sleeping peacefully. Easing off the bed and out of the room I tiptoed up the stairs. Dad was sitting at the kitchen table fixing himself a glass of milk. He glanced over at me and smiled.
“Didn’t mean to wake you,” he said.
       “You didn’t. I was awake,” I replied. I nodde d toward the front of the boat, outside where our voice wouldn’t carry downstairs as loudly. “Can we talk?”
         Dad looked toward the stairs and frowned then nodded and stood up to walk back outside of the cabin.
         I closed the cabin door to muffle anything we said before turning to look at my dad. “Rush is here,” I explained. “He’s sleeping.”
         Understanding dawned on my dad’s face and he nodded. “Good. Glad the boy was smart enough to come get you.”
         He liked Rush. He ’d thrown me in front of Rush to begin with. I was glad he approved. That made things so much easier. I wanted to keep a relationship with my dad and Rush hadn’t been a fan of him for a long time.
         “I left because of his family. Nan mostly. She’s... too much sometimes.”
         “She’s a nightmare. She isn’t my daughter; you can be blunt. I spent enough time with her to know she’s in need of some serious attention from a father.”
         I nodded and sat down on the bench seat along the side of the boat then tucked my legs underneath me.  “I don’t want to hate her because Rush loves her. It’s hard though. She’s determined to take him away from me. Sometimes I think she just might win.”
         Dad sat down on a faded rainbow colored lawn chair. “Boy loves you more. He will always love you more. Anyone can see that , baby girl. You just have to learn not to let Nan intimidate you.”
         “I’m trying. But then when she needs him he is there. Most of the time at the expense of my needs. She always wins. I know that sounds silly and I’m being selfish but I need him to pick me. I need him to pick me and our baby over everyone else. I don’t... I don’t know if he’ll ever do that.” Saying the words aloud caused my throat to constrict. Admitting your worst fear was hard. But I needed someone to listen to me.
         “You deserve to be number one. You’ve been through too much shit , thanks to me, and it’s time a man made you feel like you’re the most important person in his world. It isn’t selfish. It’s normal. That sister of his uses the fact she was deprived of a father as her excuse to be a raging spoiled bitch. You were handed an even shittier deal. You lost your sister, your father, and your mother. You’ve had more pain than that girl could ever understand yet you still love. You still forgive and you’re strong. You’ll be an incredible mother and wife.” Dad let out a heavy sigh. “All Rush’s life he’s thought of Nan as his child. He’s raised her. She’s an adult now and it’s time he let go. He’s figuring out how to do that and I think he’ll find it. He loves you. I know he does. Any fool can see it all over his face.”
         I hoped he was right. “ I love him enough that I’m afraid even if he always chooses her I will always forgive him.”
         Dad nodded and leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. “I reckon if that happens then I’ll have to fly back to Rosemary to beat the shit outta the boy. You just call me. I’ll always come get you.”
         I smiled at the sincere look on his face as he threatened to beat up Rush for me. This was the man I’d grown up loving. This was the man who ’d threatened Cain with his hunting rifle on our first date. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. “I love you,” I whispered.
         “Love you too, Blaire bear.”
          A loud cough startled me and I glanced back to see the guy from earlier, once again standing in his boat watching us. He was beginning to give me the creeps. At least this time he was wearing a shirt, even if it was unbuttoned and hanging open.
         “Evening, Captain ,” Dad called out and the guy raised his beer in a greeting.
         “Evening,” he replied. But he didn’t leave. He just stood there.