Forever Too Far

The last time the nurse checked I was seven centimeters dilated. I needed to get to ten, dammit.
         “Do I need to go get the nurse? Can I get you some ice? Do you want to squeeze my hand?” Rush kept asking me questions. I knew he meant well but at the moment I didn’t care. I reached up and grabbed his tee shirt and jerked his face down to mine.
         “Be glad I don’t have my gun because right now I’m considering the different ways I can get you to shut up. Let me scream and back off,” I snapped at him and grabbed my stomach as another contraction hit.
         “Time to check you again,” the bubbly nurse with bri ght red hair pulled back in pigtails said as she all but bounced into the room. She needed to be glad I didn’t have my gun too. Because she’d be next on my list.
         I closed my eyes hoping I didn’t have a contraction while she was down there because I m ight kick her in the face.
         “Oh! We’re sitting on ten and ready to roll. Let me get the doctor in here. Don’t push,” she told me yet again. I’d been told not to push for the past hour. All my body wanted to do was push. The doctor needed to hurry his ass up.
         Rush was being abnormally silent. I glanced up at him and his face reminded me of a little boy’s at the moment. He looked scared and nervous. I felt bad for yelling at him but the feeling didn’t last when another contraction hit me and this time it was worse. I hadn’t realized it could get worse.
         The balding doctor walked in and beamed at me like this was a good thing. “Time to get that little guy out of there and into the world.” He sounded as jolly as my nurse. Bastard.
        “You can either come down here and watch, as long as you aren’t queasy or you can stay up there with her while she pushes,” the doctor told Rush.
         Rush stepped up to my head and reached down and took my hand in his. “I’ll stay with her,” he said and squeezed my hand gently.
         The encouragement made me want to cry. He’d been trying so hard to make things easier on me and I had threatened to shoot him. I was an awful wife. I sniffed and he was instantly beside me. “Don’t cry. It’s okay. You can do this,” he said, looking determined and ready to go into battle.
        “I was mean. I’m sorry,” I choked out.
         He grinned and kissed my head. “You’re in a helluva lot of pain and if it makes you feel better to hit me I’d let you at me.”
         I wanted to kiss him but then another contraction hit me.
         “Push!” the doctor ordered and I did as I was told.
     
         Several curse words and pushes later I heard the most beautiful sound in the world. A cry. My baby’s cry.

 
    RUSH
     
         He was perfect. I counted all ten toes and fingers while Blaire kissed each one. He was also so damn tiny. I hadn’t realized babies were so little.
         “We have to decide on a name now,” Blaire said, looking up at me after she finally managed to get our son to latch on and nurse.
         We had thrown around several ideas over the past three months but nothing had seemed right. Blaire had said it was hard to name someone you’d never seen so we agreed to wait until he was born to name him.
         “I know. We’ve seen him now. We need to give him a name. What are you thinking?” I asked her hoping to God she didn’t suggest Abraham Dean again. I loved my dad but I wasn’t naming my kid after him.
       “I think he looks like a Colton,” she said, smiling down at him. I wasn’t a fan of that name.
         “You still against River?” I asked.
         She smiled up at me. “I want to put Rush in his name but if we name him River we can’t. River Rush or Rush River sounds silly.”
         I’d forgot ten she was trying to use my name too. I wasn’t going to argue with her. I liked the idea of my son having my name. “What about Cash? Cash Rush!” I teased and she bit down on her lip to keep from giggling and scaring him.
         “What about Nathan we could call him Nate?” she asked. He stopped sucking and let go to look up at her as if she’d called his name. I guess we’d come to a decision.
         “Nathan Rush Finlay has a good ring to it,” I agreed.
         She beamed up at me happily and bent her head down to kiss his nose. “Hello Nate. Welcome to the world.”
         I wanted to hold him but he looked like he had