From the Heart

they don’t peel potatoes by hand in the army anymore, a terrible lack of tradition. They have these machines, and . . .”
    She glanced up and froze.
    Jordan watched the color drain slowly from her face. Hesaw vivid shock in her eyes, and fear. The fear made his stomach twist. She dropped the peeler, and her hands shot under the table.
    Oh, God, dear God, she thought desperately. What do I do? What do I say?
    He said nothing, but his eyes were riveted on her face. Her hair was longer, he noted, almost to her shoulders now. When had she grown beautiful? She had been striking, alluring, unforgettable. But when had she grown beautiful? He couldn’t take his eyes from her face. How long had he waited to see it again, to watch it light up for him? It wasn’t lit now, it was terrified. That was his doing, but it wasn’t too late. It couldn’t be too late. All these months of desperation couldn’t be for nothing.
    Was her skin as soft as he remembered? Would she cringe if he touched her? He was afraid to test it and could only stare at her.
    Kasey gripped her hands together tightly under the table. She had to do something, to say something. She waited a moment until she was certain her voice wouldn’t give her away.
    “Hello, Jordan.” She smiled at him while her nails bit into her palms. “Passing through?”
    He took a few steps toward her but kept the table between them. Without it he would have to touch her. “I’ve been looking for you for months.” It came out as an accusation. He hadn’t meant to greet her that way. He had sworn to himself he would be calm, but calmness had deserted him the moment she had looked up at him.
    “Have you?” Kasey managed to keep her eyes level. “I’m sorry. I’ve been doing some traveling. Is it something about the book? I don’t know of anything we didn’t cover.”
    “Would you stop!” He was shouting at her. How could he be shouting at her now? he asked himself. But he couldn’t stop. Everything that had kept him going since she had left had crumbled the moment he had set eyes on her again. “I’ve spent six months in hell. How can you sit there looking at me as though I were a neighbor dropping in for a visit?” He skirted the table before she could speak and dragged her to her feet. “Damn it, Kasey . . .” His voice trailed off as helooked at her. “Oh, God.” It was barely more than a whisper as his gaze swept down, then up to her face again. “You’re pregnant.”
    “Yes, I am.” His hold had loosened. She felt his fingers drop away one at a time. He stared at her as though he’d never seen her before.
    “You . . .” He shook his head as if he were resurfacing. “You’re carrying my child, and you haven’t told me.”
    She took a step away from him. “My child, Jordan. I never said it was yours.”
    She was pulled back against him so quickly, she didn’t have time to gasp. His eyes were no longer blank, but furious. “Look at me,” he demanded between his teeth. “Look at me and say it’s not mine.” He saw the fear jump into her eyes again and released her. Why couldn’t he stop himself from repeating the mistake that had caused him to lose her? Jordan turned away and searched for control. He hadn’t been prepared for this. How could he have been prepared for this? A long, long moment passed before he could trust himself to speak again.
    “In God’s name, Kasey,” he said quietly. “How could you keep this from me? No matter how you felt about me, I had a right to know.”
    “My baby has rights, Jordan.” Her voice held the deadly calm of desperation. “I’m not concerned with yours.”
    He faced her again, ready to plead if necessary. He’d shelved his pride months before. “Don’t shut me out, Kasey, please.” He started to touch her, then, when she stiffened, he dropped his hand to his side. There were a hundred things he had planned to say when he finally found her, but now there was only one. “I love you.”
    “No!” She struck out at him in a furious slap. “Don’t you say that to me! Don’t you dare say that to me now.” Her eyes were dry one minute and flooding the next. “I would have given anything to have heard that from you six months ago. Anything. What you gave me was a note and a check for services rendered, as though I were a—”
    “No, Kasey. Please, you can’t think . . .” He reached for her again, but she pushed him away.
    “I haven’t slept with many men.