From the Heart

you.”
    “Came after me?” she repeated.
    “Your first letter to Alison came from Montana. When I got there, you’d left three days before. Three days. It might as well have been years. You’d left no forwarding address. And because you’d rented a car, there was no way of tracing you. I started to hire detectives, but then I remembered.” He stopped again and rose. “I thought how you might feel. So instead, I went back and prayed for you to write Alison again.”
    Jordan dragged a hand through his hair as he relived the frustration and panic. “Each time you wrote, I tried to catch you before you moved on. Once I missed you by five hours. I thought I’d go mad. I knew I couldn’t keep leaving Alison that way, even for a day or two. And I began to think you’d keep moving, one step ahead of me, for the rest of my life. Then your last letter came.
    “When you said you were going to be staying with your grandfather for a few months, Alison was so excited. Losing you has been hard on her.”
    Kasey shook her head and balled her hands into fists. “Don’t.”
    “I’m sorry.” He took one of her rigid hands into his. “As soon as she got the letter, she wanted to come out and see you. She said you told her she could.”
    “Yes, I had.” Kasey removed her hand. She couldn’t let him touch her, not now. She’d never be strong enough to send him away if he was touching her.
    Jordan looked down at his empty hand a moment, then slipped it into his pocket. “I didn’t want to leave her with my mother again, not even for a few days. I told her we’d both come.”
    “Alison’s here?” Kasey felt the smile light her face. “Outside?”
    “No.” Jordan swallowed the envy. The smile was for Alison, but not for him. “I wanted to see you alone first. Had to see you alone. She’s back at the hotel. There’s a family there with a couple of kids who’ve taken to her. She was hoping you’d come with me when I went back to get her.”
    Kasey shook her head. “I can’t do that. I’d love to see her if you’d bring her here.”
    Jordan felt a fresh flash of pain. He was losing and he was powerless to prevent it. “All right, if that’s what you want. We’re taking the rest of the summer to look for a new place.”
    “A new place?”
    He had to talk about something, anything, to keep from pressuring her. To keep from begging her. “I decided some time ago, just before Christmas, actually, that Alison needed to get out of that house, away from my mother. I’ve already had the papers drawn up to turn the house over to her. We won’t need anything so large. I told Alison we’d look together and try to be settled somewhere by the time she starts school again.”
    He was ready to explode. Jordan turned to her again, and the passion showed in his face. “Don’t ask me to leave now that I’ve found you, Kasey. Don’t turn away from me. You can’t ask me to walk away from you, from my child.”
    “My child.” Kasey rose now. She’d be stronger if she were standing.
    “Our child,” Jordan corrected quietly. “You can’t change that. A child’s entitled to know his father. If you can’t think of me, think of the baby.”
    “I am thinking of the baby.” She pressed her hands to her temples and pushed. Maybe it would ease the tension. “I didn’t expect you to come here; I didn’t expect you to love me. I knew what I had to do.”
    “But I did come.” Jordan took her shoulders gently. “And I do love you.”
    “No.” She stepped back, shaking her head. “Don’t touch me.”
    She covered her eyes and didn’t see the flash of emotion in Jordan’s. “I knew what I had to do,” she repeated. “I can’t afford to think about you, about me. I have to think of my baby. I can’t take chances with my baby.”
    “Chances?” Jordan began, but she was stumbling on.
    “I won’t have him shipped from coast to coast. He’s going to know where he belongs. Nobody’s going to pull at him. I won’t have it. Not this time; this time it’s my choice.” She was sobbing now with her hands covering her face. He knewno way to bring comfort. “This is my baby, not a piece of property we can split down the middle. She might try to get at me through the baby. She might try to take him from me. I lost you, I lost Alison, but I can’t lose this baby. It would kill me. Your mother’s not going to get her hands on my baby!”
    “What are you talking about?” He forgot himself and took her