Ghost Time

said that, I thought I was going to puke, like something was so wrong, my bowels felt like spaghetti. But I pulled it together, and I said, I go, Cam never posted those on Flickr—I’d know if he had. Foley raised his eyebrows and he goes, How odd. Then he turned the computer around and hit a key, turning the screen to face me: and there was Cam’s Flickr account, NaturalBornNinja. With all my work on it—sets and sets of my drawings and photos, thousands of them,and seeing it all, seeing the name Cam Conlon , I had to cover my mouth, gagging.
    That is your artwork, is it not? Foley asked, tapping again, scrolling through an entire gallery of my sketches. Every single drawing I was working on the day we met, when Cam came up behind me in the library, back when I was working on this whole American Apparel series. I hate those ads so much, all the girlies sticking their asses at the camera. So I started by drawing animal heads on them, making them as photorealistic as I could, because that’s what I always do, but then I decided it would be even better if I drew famous figures, like figureheads, get it?
    So I started drawing Gandhi and Malcolm X and the head of JFK on American Apparel models, Bill Clinton in a mesh thong leotard, that sort of thing. They were mine—they were definitely my drawings, but I couldn’t answer, because I had no explanation. The only person who’d ever seen those drawings was Cam, but that still didn’t mean… Then Foley goes, What, if I may ask, inspired this series, Theadora? I didn’t even think about it, I just go, Political activism, and he smiles that awful Foley smile and he goes, Indeed. Indeed, Theadora—god, it drives me crazy how he’s always calling me Theadora.
    Then he goes, There are videos, as well. Would you like to see them, Theadora? I go, What’s your point, Foley?, doing everything in my power not to get up and run away, and he goes, Theadora, I have to ask, how long have you and John been having sexual relations? My mouth fell open—couldn’t, could not believe he asked me that. I go, That’s none of your business, and Foley goes, Actually, Theadora, that is very much my business.So let me ask again, how long have you and John been having sexual relations? I go, What does that have to do with Cam’s disappearance? He goes, Theadora, that is precisely what we are trying to figure out. Now, tell me about the videos, he said, and that’s when I started to lose it. I go, What videos are you talking about, Foley? And he said—I’ll never forget this, either—he goes, The sex tapes, and I was really starting to lose it, but I go, What sex tapes? And then Foley goes, Yours, Theadora. The videos you and Cam made, and I swear, I couldn’t breathe for a second.
    He kept staring at me, waiting, and then, finally, Foley goes, You mean he didn’t tell you? I go, Tell me what? What are you talking about? Foley had this concerned look on his face, tilting his head, and then he said, Theadora, I’m so sorry to tell you this, but it appears that John Cameron has posted videos of the two of you—. Nuh-uh , I said. No. I don’t believe you. I just started shaking my head no, like no way. There was no way.
    He thought it over, tried another approach: You two are sexually active, you have had sex? I go, I told you that’s none of your business, and Foley goes, Do you want to see them for yourself? I go, No, I don’t, and then Foley goes, Well, Theadora, unfortunately, we don’t have much choice. And he pushed another button, playing a YouTube video. I didn’t know what was about to happen, and then it started, and it was a video of us in the parking lot where I had my driving lesson. Cam was teaching me how to drive a stick, and we got in a fight, but after our fight, we went back and we had sex in the parking lot—not in the car, on the cement, right beneath the headlights, and… That’s not me, I said, looking away.
    Foley turned the computer around again, pressing a button, and then he goes, No? You have to admit that it certainly looks like you, and I said, I don’t care how it looks, that’s not me. Foley smiled and he goes, I see. So what we have here is a video of a boy approximately eighteen years of age, who bears a striking resemblance to your missing boyfriend, John Cameron Conlon, having sex with a girl approximately fifteen years of age, who bears a striking resemblance to you, Theadora, in the front of a gold 1968 Dodge Dart with Cam’s