Glitch

to direct it. A fork on a nearby
    table fell to the ground, unnoticed in the commotion. A tray
    of food in front of my shifted fi rst to the left, then the right.
    Max gripped me harder.
    Juan sank to the ground, unconscious. The Regulators
    dragged him from the room. He was limp in their arms, his
    feet skimming the ground behind him. I felt sick. Everyone
    around me began gathering up their things calmly, as if noth-
    ing had just happened.
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    Heather Anastasiu
    They’re monsters. We’re all monsters.
    I stood up, barely remembering to take my case with me
    as I hurried out of the room. I was a monster. I could have
    stopped it all somehow, but I didn’t want to risk Max’s safety.
    To risk my own. The power had been right at my fi ngertips.
    I could have saved him. But I didn’t.
    I hurried into the bathroom so I could let out my feelings
    in the privacy of a bathroom stall. I had to stuff my fi sts in
    my mouth so I wouldn’t scream. All my power raced through
    me, begging for release. I let out just a fraction of the energy
    as gently as I could, allowing it to shake my body in tremors
    that knocked me into the stall doors. I slid to the fl oor of the
    stall and wrapped my arms around myself as if I could physi-
    cally hold it all in.
    Max was waiting for me when I came out. He took my
    arm hard and steered me to the wall, out of the way of the
    students fi ling by on the way to their next class period. He
    was rougher with me than usual. Harder and colder than
    he had ever been before last night. But I deserved it.
    “Promise me you aren’t going to do anything stupid ,” he
    hissed in my ear.
    I shook my head, feeling nauseous as I pictured Daavd,
    then Juan, dragged away. “We have to help him. That could
    have been any of us!” It should have been me, I added silently.
    “Stop it,” Max said shortly. “Do you trust me?” he asked,
    his voice still hard.
    I swallowed, feeling my throat clog up again. I didn’t
    know why he cared so much after how I’d hurt him, but I
    nodded anyway.
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    G L I TC H
    “Then trust me when I say I’ll look into it,” he said, pull-
    ing us back into the crowd of walking students.
    I looked at him uncertainly.
    “I promise. Just don’t do anything dangerous in the mean-
    time,” he hissed.
    The rest of the day went by in a haze. I clicked back into
    the Link, unable to trust myself. I’d been so sure that the
    next time something like this happened in real life, I wouldn’t
    stand idly by— that I’d act. I wouldn’t allow someone else
    to be taken like I’d let them take Daavd. But I’d just stood
    there, again. Letting it happen.
    I closed my eyes hard, but over and over the scene re-
    played. Daavd’s face replaced Juan’s as it spooled out again in
    my mind, until I thought I wasn’t going to be able to hold
    back the water that had been threatening to pour out of my
    eyes all day.
    That night, I didn’t look up when I heard the ceiling tile
    shift. I curled up in a ball, hiding my face in my pillow.
    “Zoe,” Adrien said, his voice full of emotion. “Are you
    okay?”
    I didn’t say anything. He touched my shoulder but I jerked
    it away.
    “Zo, look at me. The Rez is handling it. If they can do
    anything for Juan, they will.”
    I sat up, hope blooming for the fi rst time all day. “Do you
    think they can get him out?”
    Adrien didn’t say anything for a second. “You need to be
    ready for the fact that sometimes there’s nothing we can do.
    After they’ve transported a glitcher to a secondary location,
    293

    Heather Anastasiu
    it’s usually impossible to get them back before they’re repro-
    grammed or . . . or they do other things to them.”
    “Like deactivate them, you mean.” A fresh pain burned
    in my chest. Adrien tried to hug me but I pushed him away.
    “No, I don’t deserve comforting. I’m a monster. Just stand-
    ing there, watching it happen.”
    I dropped my head, sobbing quietly.
    “I thought I was diff erent now,” I managed to say be-
    tween sobs. “At least before, I was numbed by the V-chip.
    What’s my excuse now?”
    “Zoe, stop it,” Adrien said heatedly. “There was nothing
    you could do that wouldn’t have gotten us all taken away
    with him. Max and I just stood there, too. Do you think
    we’re monsters?”
    “No!” I said automatically.
    “Then why do you get all the blame? Why are you
    cracking taking this all on yourself ? It’s not your fault. It’s
    the Chancellor’s fault