Glitch

and all of the Uppers who’ve done
    this to us.”
    But I shook my head when Adrien tried to pull me close.
    “It could have been you, or Max, or . . .” My voice broke.
    “Or Markan.”
    “You can’t think like that.”
    “Would it have been any diff erent?” I stared at the wall,
    feeling sick. “I have this horrible feeling that it wouldn’t be.
    That I betray everyone who comes near me. What I did to
    my own brother. And then Max, too. All he wanted was for
    me to want him.”
    I turned and crumpled into Adrien’s chest, crying harder
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    all of the sudden. He held me tight. “What else is wrong?
    Zoe, you’re scaring me.” His voice was tense.
    I heard the muffl
    ed thud of Markan’s door sliding open.
    “Hide, hide,” I whispered urgently to Adrien, pushing
    him back up the ladder. “Close the ceiling tile and hide up
    on the bed against the wall.”
    He hurried as quietly as he could back up the ladder. I
    went to listen at the door. I heard footsteps, but they walked
    past my door and on toward the bathroom. I sighed out and
    leaned my head against the wall. Adrien stayed silent.
    I climbed lightly up the ladder. Adrien was lying down,
    his long body taking up the entire length of the bed so he’d
    be out of sight. I lay down, facing him, far enough apart that
    only our bent knees touched. I curled my hands up under my
    pillow.
    “Tell me about hate,” I whispered quietly.
    “Zo.” He curled up one arm under his head like a pillow.
    We were close enough together that I could smell the cool
    mint of his breath.
    “Tell me,” I repeated stubbornly.
    He sighed out, rubbing his temple with his other hand.
    “Hate is a strong emotion. One of the strongest humans
    have.”
    “But what is it?”
    He frowned, thinking. “I don’t know how to describe it.
    How to defi ne it. It’s like when anger against someone or
    something becomes so strong it consumes you. Life is so hard
    and people are so shunting cruel to each another, sometimes
    I think hate is what comes most naturally to humans.”
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    Heather Anastasiu
    “And it makes people want to deactiv— to kill each other?”
    He nodded.
    “Have you ever hated anyone?”
    “Of course. I hate the Uppers and this shunting Link sys-
    tem that has put us all in this position. . . .” He leaned in, his
    head slightly sideways. “I hate the people who put you in
    danger.”
    His green eyes fl ashed in the dim light of the night lumi-
    nescence panel. Our faces were six inches apart now. “But the
    thing is, the opposite of hate is love. . . .” He looked away
    from me and ran a hand through his hair. Then he looked
    back at me with an intensity I’d never seen in him before.
    He moved closer.
    Three inches.
    Two.
    The electricity I’d felt from him the other night was ten-
    fold, burning out from his eyes. I lifted a hand to my chest
    monitor and tried to breathe to calm myself down.
    “Then tell me about love again,” I whispered.
    He scooted closer still, taking my hand from my chest
    monitor and entwining his fi ngers with mine.
    “Hate’s a strong emotion, but . . .” He paused, looking
    down at our hands. His thumb rubbed mine, sending little
    popping sparks through me. “I like to think that love is stron-
    ger. Even though love makes no sense to me sometimes—
    that it even still exists seems like a miracle.”
    He closed his eyes, drawing back a bit. “I’ve seen so
    much. Hate and death and brokenness and pain. People try-
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    ing to survive and failing.” His face looked haunted by the
    memories.
    “People hungry for power and willing to do anything to
    get it. But love?” He looked back up at me again. “A love
    that makes people sacrifi ce for one another— give up every-
    thing, even their lives? I never understood it.”
    “Adrien,” I said, squeezing his hand tighter.
    He leaned his forehead toward mine. “Love shouldn’t
    exist but it does. It’s the biggest anomaly, some might say the
    biggest defect, of the whole human race. But it’s the most
    beautiful anomaly. I understand that now. And I would give
    up anything for you, even if you don’t feel the same way.”
    He swallowed hard. “Because I love you.”
    He breathed out heavily and sat up. He put his elbows on
    his knees and rubbed his temple with both hands so I that
    could barely make out his face.
    I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. I was still,
    too much in shock to fully understand what he was