Hammered

, except his skin was mottled in madness and his eyes burned with rage. Perhaps on a better day he’d look a little more smooth and androgynous, but he was not feeling the languid sot right now; he was visiting us as the primal avatar of apeshit wrath, arms and neck traced in either veins or vines, I couldn’t tell which.
    » I think we got us a chariot race, boys. « I was proud of myself for staying so calm. What I wanted to do was scream, » GO! FUCKING GO, GO, GO! « But the three of us were all supposed to be badasses. Besides our lives, there were serious testosterone points at stake here. None of us could betray a moment’s concern or we’d be mocked mercilessly by the others.
    » How far is it? « Leif asked me. » This place where we will shift planes? «
    » About an hour or two. « There were no healthy forests closer than that near the Phoenix metropolitan area. It was one of the reasons I’d chosen it as a place to live, because I was less likely to run across faeries. » Depends on how fast you drive. «
    The vampire laughed and drove even faster.
    » Now you’ve done it, « Gunnar said. » We’re doomed. « Because he said it deadpan and obviously in criticism of Leif’s driving, he wouldn’t be docked any testosterone points for that.
    Leif wrenched the wheel to the left and we whipped onto 13th Street, headed toward Mill Avenue. He’d be able to take Mill south to U.S. 60, and once there he could really open up.
    There was no question of fighting Bacchus. Unlike the Norse or the Tuatha Dé Danann, the Olympians (both Greek and Roman) were truly immortal and could not be killed—only inconvenienced. That tended to give them an advantage in any altercation. Unbidden, an appropriate sentiment bubbled from my lips: » › Therefore, dear boy, mount on my swiftest horse; and I’ll direct thee how thou shalt escape by sudden flight: come, dally not, be gone, ‹ « I said, quoting from Henry VI, Part I . Shakespeare’s genius was that he had something to say about almost any situation—even fleeing from a Roman god in a Mustang.
    Leif flicked an annoyed glance back at me and affected the grumbly voice of old Capulet: » › Go to, go to; you are a saucy boy. ‹ « He didn’t object to the quote itself but to the idea I was starting a Shakespearean quote duel while we were running for our lives.
    » Do you think I mean to engage you while you are busy getting us out of trouble? « I asked him. I should have apologized and ended it there, but again I couldn’t resist speaking the perfect line from Hamlet: » › My lord, there was no such stuff in my thoughts .‹ «
    Gunnar groaned and planted his face in his hands. He knew what was coming.
    Despite Leif’s attempts to speed through the neighborhood, Bacchus took a good angle through the air—because his bloody leopards were the flying sort—and caught up with us as we slowed to turn onto Mill. We heard them roar, and Bacchus joined in with a bellow meant to drive us mad with fear. Were any of us vulnerable to such magic, I’m quite sure we would have completely lost our shit. Claws scraped on the roof of the Mustang as we screeched around the corner.
    » › Alack, what noise is this ?‹ « Leif said, grinning, getting into the spirit of the situation—a macabre fatalism that suggested we might as well enjoy ourselves as much as possible. Still, I carefully drew Fragarach from its sheath in case the roof gave way and I had to fend off swipes at our heads. The back of Gunnar’s neck was rippling as his wolf fought to get out. He hated being in the passenger seat right now, powerless to do anything but hope we could outrun the god.
    We endured a couple more shrieking scrapes against the hardtop, clenching our teeth against the bone-shivering sound, and then the Mustang pulled away again under the weight of Leif’s booted heel against the accelerator.
    » I hope you bought the optional insurance, « Gunnar said.
    » Of course I did! « Leif said. » What do you think I am, a maniac? «
    Horns honked in our wake, and people stomped on their brakes at the sight of a black Mustang being pursued by an airborne chariot. The witnesses would no doubt medicate themselves with an impromptu prescription of booze when they got home.
    It was mayhem and Leif loved it. He leaned on the horn and flashed his lights at people to get them to swerve out of the way. » › Now bid me run, and I will strive with things impossible; yea, get the better of