Hit List

appointment, so I was in there three times. Just a name, Helen Brown, with no address and no phone number, and nothing in her files, so I left it. It wasn’t going to lead anywhere. You were in there, but so many months ago I couldn’t believe anybody would check that far back. Still, I inked out your name with Magic Marker, but then I decided they’d have ways to see what was originally written there, so I just tore out the page.”
    “Couldn’t hurt.”
    “I had a quick look-see through her things. That felt weird, so I didn’t spend much time on it. I found some cash in her underwear drawer, a few thousand dollars.”
    “You take it?”
    “I thought about it. I mean, money doesn’t care where it came from, right? But what I did was leave all but five hundred right where I found it, and I put the five hundred in her handbag.”
    “So it wouldn’t look like a break-in.”
    “Right. But that doesn’t really make sense, because what burglar slips his victim a poisoned chocolate? I guess I wasn’t thinking too clearly.”
    “If you got away with it,” he said, “your thinking was clear enough.”
    “I guess so. I left her there and went home. I thought, should I call it in? But the people at 911 have got Caller ID, they know where all the calls come from.”
    “Besides, what’s your hurry?”
    “That’s what I decided. The longer it takes before the body’s found, the less likely they are to smell a rat.”
    “Bad choice of words.”
    “Bad choice of . . . oh, right. Anyway, the stuff I gave her winds up looking like a heart attack. It actually gives you one, that’s how it works. Of course it would show up if they looked for it, but why would they look for it? She was a good fifty pounds overweight, she led a sedentary life, she was old enough to have a heart attack—“
    “How old do you have to be? Never mind, I know what you mean.”
    “I wore gloves all the time, like a nice little suburban lady, so there were no fingerprints to worry about. And I left and pulled the door shut, and it locked behind me, and I went home.”
    “Steeped in the satisfaction of a job well done.”
    “Well, I don’t know about that,” she said. “I got home and poured myself a stiff drink, and then I poured it down the sink, because what do I want with a drink?”
    “You were never a drinker.”
    “No, but this time I had the impulse anyway, which shows how I felt. I sat there and watched her die, Keller. I never did anything like that before.”
    “It was different with the old man.”
    “Apples and bananas. He didn’t kick his feet and throw his arms around and make noises. He was asleep, and I just made sure he wouldn’t wake up. And you know what he was like. It was an act of mercy.” She made a face. “With the star lady, it was no act of mercy. The picture in my mind, the expression on her face, mercy had nothing to do with it.”
    “It’ll fade, Dot.”
    “Huh?”
    “The picture in your mind. It won’t go away, but it’ll fade, and that’s enough.”
    “Keller, I’m a big girl. I can live with it.”
    “I know, but you can live without it, too. It’ll fade, believe me, and you can make it fade faster. There’s an exercise you can do.”
    “I just hope it’s not deep knee bends.”
    “No, it’s all mental. Close your eyes. I’m serious, Dot. Close your eyes.”
    “So?”
    “Now let the picture come into your mind. Louise in her overstuffed chair—“
    “Looking overstuffed herself.”
    “No, don’t make jokes. Just let yourself picture the scene.”
    “All right.”
    “And you’re seeing it from up close, and in color.”
    “I didn’t have much choice, Keller. I was there, I wasn’t watching it on a black-and-white TV set.”
    “Let the color fade.”
    “Huh?”
    “Let the color drain out of the picture in your mind. Like you’re dialing down the color knob on a TV.”
    “How do I—“
    “Just do it.”
    “Like the shoe ads.”
    “Is the color gone?”
    “Not completely. But it’s muted. Ooops—it came back.”
    “Fade it again.”
    “Okay.”
    “Closer to gray this time, right?”
    “A little bit.”
    “Good,” he said. “Now back off.”
    “Huh?”
    “Like a zoom shot,” he said, “except it’s more of a reverse zoom shot, because the picture in your mind is getting smaller. Back off twenty yards or so.”
    “There’s a wall behind me.”
    “No there’s not. You’ve got all the room in the world, and the picture’s getting