Honored Vow

for
    him to have his first-born take a male mate and when he found out that
    Koren would as well, or was thinking about it, he was overwhelmed. He
    wanted grandchildren, wanted to ensure his lineage, and even though he
    had claimed to be keeping an open mind, the reality had been painful for
    him.
    In Sobek he had gone to the priest to make sure that Logan was
    forced to take a yareah and procreate. But before Logan could even inform
    me of his father’s ultimatum and adamantly assure me that he would
    never, ever have children with anyone but a surrogate, I had given him the
    news that I had asked his sister for the gift of life. Together, Delphine and
    I would make the next semel of the tribe of Mafdet. As patriarch of the
    Church clan, Peter was guardian of the line until he died and so had been
    well within his rights to talk to the priest. But the news that I had asked
    Delphine to be my yareah, to help me, as a barren reah, to reproduce, had

    20

    Mary Calmes

    basically just made the man’s year. The second he got home, he shared his
    overwhelming happiness with his second-born.
    What Koren heard was: you can be whatever you want to be now…. I
    don’t care . Logan will carry on the Church bloodline with his reah; I
    don’t care what you do or with whom . At which point Koren realized that
    what he wanted was his father’s blessing and understanding, wanted his
    life to be as he had thought it would be growing up. He wanted exactly
    what his parents had, and that picture did not include another man. It
    especially did not include Domin Thorne.
    Maybe.
    Or maybe it did.
    Koren was, again, for the millionth time, on the fence.
    He couldn’t say he wanted Domin, but he didn’t want anyone else to
    have him, either. He loved him, and dear God in heaven, he wanted to
    sleep with him, but the rest… the rest was tricky.
    I had not even been able to look at him. After our talk, I put distance
    and, normally, Yuri between us. No one talked to me without Yuri
    allowing them to, so since I didn’t want to see Koren, I simply didn’t.
    “He’s an idiot,” Logan had told me as we stood together on the
    balcony watching Domin move out. Even though Koren was not around
    much, it was still his home first, and so our maahes had chosen to buy a
    loft in King’s Beach, just down the hill from us. He was only a twenty-
    minute drive away, but still, it was distance that Logan didn’t care for.
    “Who’s an idiot? Domin for leaving, or Koren for not asking him to
    stay?”
    “Domin for leaving,” my mate had rumbled. “If you want
    something, you fight for it.”
    “Yeah, but Domin waited for Koren to grow some balls the first
    time, and now he’s right back to where he was. How many times does
    your brother get to use Domin’s heart for a doormat?”
    “Koren will figure out what he wants.”
    “And by then it will be too late,” I had said, my eyes never leaving
    the scene below me, watching Domin direct the movers.
    “That’s awfully pessimistic of you,” he had teased me, leaning
    sideways to kiss my temple.

    Honored Vow

    21

    “Someone else will discover Domin Thorne,” I had told my mate
    very seriously. “He’s a pain in the ass, but the man is beautiful to look at
    and very passionate, and now, since he’s been your maahes, loyal and fair.
    You’ve changed him, your faith in him, your kindness, your acceptance,
    all of it—he’s different.”
    “He’s always been that way,” Logan had told me. “He just forgot for
    a while.”
    Domin had been a good guy? “Are we talking about the same man?”
    “Yes.”
    I hadn’t wanted to argue; I knew that Logan had made all the
    difference to the growth of his maahes, even if he didn’t. “Koren’s a fool.”
    “Why don’t you tell him that?”
    I had sighed deeply before I had turned and looked at my mate.
    “Because no one listens to me. They’re supposed to, but they don’t. Crane
    left, too, and Russ…. Everybody’s leaving our home, and I hate it.”
    “I’ll never leave you.”
    Which was more comforting than he could have known.
    “Your teeth are chattering,” Yuri told me, bringing me back to the
    present.
    The reason being that I was cold inside and out.
    “I know you. I know you’re terrified about Crane and scared that I’ll
    get hurt exacting the revenge you yourself want, but, Jin”—his voice
    cracked, lowered—“I am the sheseru of my tribe. It is no one’s place but
    mine.”
    I leaned forward,