Honored Vow

changing them into animals
    render them inadequate?”
    “Because you have sex in your human form, Jin.”
    I cleared my throat. “Might I remind you that I’ve had sex with you
    in both your human form and your werepanther form?”
    “But never in panther form.”
    True.
    “And I claimed you as a man, and you identify yourself as a man
    first and panther second, and so on instinct, your nekhene power shifts
    unworthy men and women into panthers, which makes them unfit, in your
    eyes, to mate with.”
    “I didn’t change them on purpose.”
    “I know that, but every panther in the room was, to you, weak, and
    was thus unsuited to be your mate, so your nekhene power punished them.
    I get it now.”
    “But—”
    “You did something, started to get upset and your nekhene power
    spiked and came pouring out of you, but because you’re not in complete
    control because of Crane, you flooded the room with pheromones looking
    for a mate.”

    64

    Mary Calmes

    “I’m not looking for a mate! I already have one.”
    “You as a reah, yes, and you know that, but the nekhene who lives
    inside of you searched and couldn’t find the reah’s mate and so you lost
    yourself for a moment in a wave of heat and craving that I can’t even
    imagine. Your power reached out and finding no one worthy, it attacked.”
    “But the nekhene in me respects, or whatever you wanna call it, our
    bond.”
    “If I’m there, if you can smell me, feel me, taste me, the nekhene
    responds, but if I’m not there to physically remind the nekhene of the
    bond, then the reah part of you is lost and only the wild creature remains.”
    I sucked in my breath. “You make me sound like a monster.”
    “You’re not a monster; you’re an animal looking for a mate.”
    “I have a mate.” I said again.
    “But the nekhene doesn’t know that, and I didn’t show that part of
    you my power the other day. I held you, made you stop, but I didn’t hold
    you down and make you mine.”
    Thinking about Logan, imagining myself submitting to his will,
    made my heart leap, pulse race, and my skin heat.
    “But I will,” he promised me, his voice dropping low and menacing,
    the power and strength and dominant male there, in the tone, making my
    knees weak.
    “Logan—”
    “That’s why Delphine’s so angry. She’s mad at her reaction to you
    and that you didn’t want her. It’s not logical, but that’s it. Russ must be
    feeling the same way, which is why he’s so scared of your power and
    doesn’t want to be around it, that’s why the knee-jerk reaction—son of a
    bitch!”
    “Logan, I—”
    “I’m so sorry,” he told me, and his voice was suddenly quiet, gentle
    as it had not been since he first got on the phone with me. “Oh baby, I
    didn’t know. I thought you were testing power, like I said—forgive me.”
    “Of course.” I smiled through the tears now filling my eyes.
    “Everything I said, forgive me. I’m an idiot.”
    I took a breath.
    “I’m still mad at you for leaving.”
    “Yes.”

    Honored Vow

    65

    “You’re still in the wrong.”
    He always had to remind me, which was Logan, the semel, the
    leader, explaining why he was mad, showing why it was fair. “I know.”
    “Oh shit!” he gasped.
    “What?”
    “Don’t open the door for anyone but Yuri, do you hear me? No one.”
    “Yes, my semel.”
    He made a choked sound in the back of his throat. “I’m leaving now.
    Wait for me. I order you to wait.”
    “Of course I’ll wait.”
    “Stay in the hotel room and do not open the door.”
    “But Logan, you really don’t have to—”
    “Honey, you’re not getting out of the hotel without me. Literally,
    you won’t make it out in one piece.”
    “What’re you—”
    “I’ll be there soon, wait for me. Don’t run.”
    “Why would I run?”
    “Jin, wait. Please. Don’t run from me.”
    “No, I would never.”
    “I love you.”
    I whimpered into the phone, and it was undignified and I wasn’t sure
    where it came from, but it was there, my sudden need. “I love you too.”
    “I’m coming, sit down.” I heard the smile in his voice. “Watch TV.”
    He hung up instead of saying goodbye, and I found that I could
    breathe better. The man really did have a very good influence on me.
    I showered and changed, turned the TV on in the background as the
    sky opened up and dumped down rain. It was a gift because I loved it and
    it soothed me. Hours later, having done nothing but think—think