Hounded

bloody Viking, after all.
    The sirens were awfully close. » You need to get those bodies out of the street and put them over there, « I said, pointing to the pile I had made. » And then take care of my neighbor’s delusions. «
    » No problem, « he said, and then he zipped out into the street and started tossing giants, being careful not to get blood on his hands. I pulled on the clean shirt and kept my eyes on the blinds across the street. My neighbor, Mr. Semerdjian, had always been the snoopy sort. He had held me in deep suspicion from the day I moved in, because I did not own a car.
    I started casting camouflage on every spot of blood I could find and then on the pile of bodies as well. Leif ran across the street to lay some vampire hoodoo on Mr. Semerdjian: » Look into my eyes. You didn’t see anything. « It was like an old Jedi mind trick.
    I was fairly confident I had taken care of all visible evidence before the first patrol car rounded the corner. If they went snooping around the east side of my lawn, they would run into some major invisible evidence, but hopefully they would never have reason to do that. As they wailed down the street, I muttered a little something to magnify the scent of local plant life, which would hopefully mask the scent of so much spilled blood.
    I sent Oberon to sit quietly on our front porch while Leif and I dealt with the authorities. He probably needed another bath anyway.
    Three black-and-whites pulled up to my house, alerting all my other neighbors that the noise they had been ignoring was something to worry about after all. Six officers jumped out of the cars and pointed guns at us over their car doors.
    » Freeze! « one of them shouted, even though we were standing perfectly still. Another one snarled, » Hands above your head! « and yet another said, » Drop the sword! «

Chapter 11
    How can one freeze and put their hands above their head at the same time? Do they teach cops to shout contradictory instructions at suspects at the academy for some sinister purpose? If I obeyed one cop, did the other cop get to shoot me for resisting arrest? The only one who worried me was the guy who told me to drop my sword. It was camouflaged but still hanging in its scabbard across my back. Could he see through the camouflage?
    » Good evening, gentlemen, « Leif said smoothly. Neither of us raised our hands. » I am an attorney for Mr. O’Sullivan here. « All the cops looked at him standing there serenely in his suit and got real quiet.
    I am an attorney is a trigger phrase for cops. It tells them they have to go slow and follow procedures or their case will get tossed out of court. It meant that they wouldn’t be able to wave their guns around and bully me into anything. Unfortunately, it also told them that I needed an attorney at my house after normal business hours. If I were a mind reader, I would be hearing the same thing from each one of their heads: » This bastard is so guilty he already has his lawyer here. «
    » What can we do for you tonight? « Leif asked pleasantly.
    » We received a call that there was someone cutting down people with a sword here, « one of them said.
    Leif snorted in amusement. » A sword? Well, I suppose that’s refreshing, perhaps even charmingly retro. But would there not be some signs of struggle if that were the case? People missing their arms, lots of blood, and maybe an actual sword in somebody’s hand? You can see for yourselves that nothing like that is going on here. All is well. I think you received a crank call, officers. «
    » Then why are you here? « the cop asked.
    » I’m sorry, Officer … um? «
    » It’s Benton. «
    » Officer Benton, I am Leif Helgarson. I am here because Mr. O’Sullivan is not only my client, he is my friend. We were simply standing here, enjoying the autumn evening and discussing baseball, when you drove up and pointed your weapons at us. Speaking of which, isn’t it about time you put those away? Neither of us is about to threaten you. «
    » Let me see your hands first, « Officer Benton said.
    Leif slowly took his hands out of his pockets and I did the same, raising them to shoulder height. » Look, « Leif said, wiggling his fingers like they were jazz hands. » No swords. «
    Officer Benton scowled at him, but then he reluctantly put away his sidearm and the other officers followed his example. » I think we should take a look around, just to be thorough, « he said, stepping around his car