Human Remains

only contact. His page proclaims proudly that he is ‘in a relationship with’ Audrey Madison. I click on Audrey’s profile, which states just as proudly that her relationship status is ‘complicated’.
    To my surprise and pleasure, Audrey’s profile is instantly accessible: under ‘info’ I discover her email address, a whole list of films that she likes (horror and thrillers, in the main), that her musical tastes can best be described as eclectic (Simon and Garfunkel, Metallica, the Beatles) and that she went to school in Northampton followed by the University of Leicester. Her current interests are listed as cooking and going to the gym. Unfortunately she has chosen not to complete the employment part of the profile. I move on to her friends list (total three hundred and seventeen) and scan down the list of names.
    Ten of the friends show their workplace as Arnold and Partners, Briarstone. I click on the link to the Arnold’s page. It’s an accountancy firm in the town centre. I go back to Audrey’s list of friends and commit the Arnold’s employees’ names to memory, and then go to Audrey’s Wall. And there it is, a Wall post from last Friday:
    Cheryl Dann: Hope u have a good weekend hunni. See you Monday at work xxx
     
    An internet search of Arnold and Partners takes me to their home page, which helpfully includes a ‘How To Find Us’ map and their opening hours.
    I go back to Audrey’s Wall and read down the various status updates, likes and comments. Yesterday Audrey had written:
    Audrey Madison: Can’t wait for Adele’s bday bash Friday night. Been a long while and am in serious need of a night out.
     
    Below that, some of her friends had commented.
    Lara Smith: Will be so good to see you. What time r we
getting to Lucianos.
Claire McLeod: Table is booked for 8 Lara
Lara Smith: Thanks. See you there!
Cheryl Dann: Woop woop.
Adele Babycakes Strachan: V excited. Bring it.
     
    I go back to the internet and find that there is a Luciano’s in Briarstone – an Italian restaurant right in the town centre. It’s in the Market Square, which also contains three bars and one of the biggest nightclubs.
    After that, I finally allow myself to click back to Audrey’s photos. There are twelve albums, of which three are helpfully labelled to suggest they are images from her summer holidays for the past few years.
    I start with the oldest: ‘Kos Aug 2009’. I stand up before I go any further, take off my trousers and fold them over a hanger and put them back in my wardrobe. And after that, the rest of the evening is spent wanking over the many delicious images of Audrey in a bikini. And she is no longer Vaughn’s. For her, it’s ‘complicated’, but for me it is wonderfully simple.
    She is mine.
     

Briarstone Chronicle
     
    October
Body of Former Council Leader Found
     
    Police called to a house in Newton Lane last Saturday evening discovered the decomposed remains of yet another person, an elderly male, believed to be former Briarstone Borough Councillor George Armstrong, 92. A police spokesperson said that neighbours had reported a strong smell coming from the property.
    Mr Armstrong served as Councillor for Castle Ward from 1975 to 1988 when he retired. He was Leader of the Council in 1980 and 1985 and was considered to be instrumental in securing the future of hundreds of workers at the Langridge paper factory, who had been threatened with redundancy, in 1980.
    A neighbour, who did not wish to be named, revealed thatMr Armstrong had not been seen for some time. ‘He used to be always out walking; he’d always say hello. I haven’t seen him for a few months. I thought he’d gone into hospital, or into a home.’
    Marjorie Baker, of Newton Lane, said she believed Mr Armstrong had gone to live with family in Australia. ‘I think it’s terrible that in this day and age nobody notices you’re gone,’ Mrs Baker said. ‘People should take more care of each other.’
     

George
     
    Things were never the same for me after Vilette died. Vi, I called her. She was my sunshine and my light and my joy for fifty-nine years. Vi was the reason I was here, just as I was the reason she was here.
    We met when I was twenty-two, quite by accident as it turned out. I was on shore leave, only two days, and then I was back to sea. It was February and the lake was frozen over. I was taking a short cut across the park back home, I’d been to the shop to get some cigarettes I think. Some errand for my