Human Remains

know what I thought it was going to be like, but I was unprepared for her to respond, and when she did I made a sound that seemed to alarm her and she pulled away from me.
    ‘Colin? It’s alright.’
    So I kissed her again, and this time it was still uncomfortable. I was much taller than she was and my neck was bent at an awkward angle to facilitate the kiss.
    When it was over I remember walking home feeling – not elated, not at all, but disappointed. Was that all there was to it? I remember thinking? That hot, slimy feeling of someone’s tongue against yours? The taste of spearmint gum and the beer she’d been drinking… it was all I could do not to shudder.
    The final paper was the one that pulled my grade down from an A to a B, and effectively lost me the chance to enjoy an Oxbridge place. I never saw Helen again. She never phoned me, of course, and possibly this came as something of a relief.
    As I talked to the woman earlier this evening, standing outside the funeral place in the precinct, I looked down – just once – at the satchel she carried and wondered whether, if I lifted the flap, I would find my name printed there in felt tip pen, along with a phone number, faded into the canvas.
     
     
    Anyway – Vaughn has had contact with Audrey, so all’s well in his little world. I don’t know if he’s made the decision about proposing to her. I find it amusing, however, trying to picture them in different situations and which one he might select to do the deed… on one knee, in the cinema? Scuba-diving? Watching television with a microwaved meal on a matching set of his-and-hers fold-up tables?
    I’m being unkind. The meal they served was perfectly acceptable, and I am really glad for them both, despite Audrey’s flirtatious boldness with me that evening. She was, as I believe they say, a little minx.
    I am looking forward to reading tomorrow’s edition of the
Briarstone Chronicle
. I am planning to collect a copy on the way to work, and then hope I can make it to work after reading it in the car. I suspect I shall find it quite – diverting. After that, of course, I have my new subject to tend to. I must make sure I’m not so distracted by the newspaper that I miss out on the chance to watch this new one transform.
    I do wonder, briefly, if I said something a little bit – amiss – to Audrey and she’s decided to go the same way as the others. It wasn’t my intention, not at all. But I wonder sometimes if I’m not just a little too good at this. Maybe I’m not fully aware of how exceptional these powers are. Or perhaps I am getting so comfortable with them that I am starting to blur the edges of what is acceptable and what is not.
    In any case, as I say, I’m glad she turned up safe and well. Audrey lives to fight another day… and who knows, proposal or no proposal, I might get an opportunity to have another go at her one of these days. Maybe I should return the invitation and invite them both to dinner at mine. What would they make of it, I wonder, this big old Edwardian villa? I expect they would be surprised that I can afford a place such as this. And no mortgage on it, either, of course – all my salary is mine to do with as I please. And, when my mother finally decides to take up her place in the realm of eternal damnation, then it will be my name on the deeds, too.
     

Briarstone Chronicle
     
    October
Two Bodies Found Following Tip-Off: Police Hunt Killer
     
    Briarstone police have confirmed they are launching a murder investigation following the discovery of two more bodies in the borough on Tuesday night and early Wednesday morning, a police spokesperson today revealed. Dana Viliscevina, 30, originally from Serbia but more recently living in Hawthorn Crescent, Carnhurst, was discovered after the
Chronicle
received a tip-off phone call from a woman who claimed to know where more bodies were. The woman rang off without leaving her name. A police source said yesterday that a second body had been found. The second victim has been named locally as Eileen Forbes, 45, of Oak Tree Lane, Briarstone. It is understood that Ms Forbes died only hours before being found, but our source confirms that her death is being closely linked to the investigation.
    Ms Viliscevina was employed by St Margaret’s Church of England Primary School, Newington, as a teaching assistant. The head teacher of St Margaret’s, Bethan Davies, said yesterday that Ms Viliscevina was on long-term sick leave