I Shall Wear Midnight

BY TERRY PRATCHETT, FOR YOUNG READERS
    THE CARPET PEOPLE
    THE CARPET PEOPLE Illustrated edition
    TRUCKERS
    DIGGERS
    WINGS
    THE BROMELIAD omnibus edition
    (contains Truckers , Diggers , Wings )
     
    ONLY YOU CAN SAVE MANKIND*
    (* www.ifnotyouthenwho.com )
    JOHNNY AND THE DEAD
    JOHNNY AND THE BOMB
    THE JOHNNY MAXWELL OMNIBUS EDITION
    (contains Only You Can Save Mankind , Johnny and the Dead , Johnny and the Bomb )
     
    Discworld novels
    THE AMAZING MAURICE AND HIS EDUCATED RODENTS
    THE WEE FREE MEN
    A HAT FULL OF SKY
    WINTERSMITH
    I SHALL WEAR MIDNIGHT
    THE ILLUSTRATED WEE FREE MEN
     
    The Discworld series: have you read them all?
    1. THE COLOUR OF MAGIC
    2. THE LIGHT FANTASTIC
    3. EQUAL RITES
    4. MORT
    5. SOURCERY
    6. WYRD SISTERS
    7. PYRAMIDS
    8. GUARDS! GUARDS!
    9. ERIC
    (illustrated by Josh Kirby)
    10. MOVING PICTURES
    11. REAPER MAN
    12. WITCHES ABROAD
    13. SMALL GODS
    14. LORDS AND LADIES
    15. MEN AT ARMS
    16. SOUL MUSIC
    17. INTERESTING TIMES
    18. MASKERADE
    19. FEET OF CLAY
    20. HOGFATHER
    21. JINGO
    22. THE LAST CONTINENT
    23. CARPE JUGULUM
    24. THE FIFTH ELEPHANT
    25. THE TRUTH
    26. THIEF OF TIME
    27. THE LAST HERO
    (illustrated by Paul Kidby)
    28. THE AMAZING MAURICE AND HIS EDUCATED RODENTS
    (for young readers)
    29. NIGHT WATCH
    30. THE WEE FREE MEN
    (for young readers)
    31. MONSTROUS REGIMENT
    32. A HAT FULL OF SKY
    (for young readers)
    33. GOING POSTAL
    34. THUD!
    35. WINTERSMITH
    (for young readers)
    36. MAKING MONEY
    37. UNSEEN ACADEMICALS
    38. I SHALL WEAR MIDNIGHT
    (for young readers)
     
    Other books about Discworld
    THE SCIENCE OF DISCWORLD
    (with Ian Stewart and Jack Cohen)
    THE SCIENCE OF DISCWORLD II: THE GLOBE
    (with Ian Stewart and Jack Cohen)
    THE SCIENCE OF DISCWORLD III: DARWIN’S WATCH
    (with Ian Stewart and Jack Cohen)
    THE NEW DISCWORLD COMPANION
    (with Stephen Briggs)
    NANNY OGG’S COOKBOOK
    (with Stephen Briggs, Tina Hannan and Paul Kidby)
    THE PRATCHETT PORTFOLIO
    (with Paul Kidby)
    THE DISCWORLD ALMANAK
    (with Bernard Pearson)
    THE UNSEEN UNIVERSITY CUT-OUT BOOK
    (with Alan Batley and Bernard Pearson)
    WHERE’S MY COW?
    (illustrated by Melvyn Grant)
     
    THE ART OF DISCWORLD
    (with Paul Kidby)
    THE WIT AND WISDOM OF DISCWORLD
    (compiled by Stephen Briggs)
    THE FOLKLORE OF DISCWORLD
    (with Jacqueline Simpson)
     
    Discworld maps
    THE STREETS OF ANKH-MORPORK
    (with Stephen Briggs, painted by Stephen Player)
    THE DISCWORLD MAPP
    (with Stephen Briggs, painted by Stephen Player)
    A TOURIST GUIDE TO LANCRE – A DISCWORLD MAPP
    (with Stephen Briggs, illustrated by Paul Kidby)
    DEATH’S DOMAIN
    (with Paul Kidby)
     
    A complete list of other books based on the Discworld series – illustrated screenplays,
graphic novels, comics and plays, can be found on
    www.terry pratchett.co.uk.
     
    Non-Discworld titles
    GOOD OMENS
    (with Neil Gaiman)
    STRATA
    THE DARK SIDE OF THE SUN
    THE UNADULTERATED CAT
    (illustrated by Gray Jolliffe)



Chapter 1
    A FINE BIG WEE LADDIE

    W HY WAS IT , Tiffany Aching wondered, that people liked noise so much? Why was noise so important?
    Something quite close sounded like a cow giving birth. It turned out to be an old hurdy-gurdy organ, hand-cranked by a raggedy man in a battered top hat. She sidled away as politely as she could, but as noise went, it was sticky; you got the feeling that if you let it, it would try to follow you home.
    But that was only one sound in the great cauldron of noise around her, all of it made by people and all of it made by people trying to make noise louder than the other people making noise. Arguing at the makeshift stalls, bobbing for apples or frogs, 1 cheering the prize fighters and a spangled lady on the high wire, selling candyfloss at the tops of their voices and, not to put too fine a point on it, boozing quite considerably.
    The air above the green downland was thick with noise. It was asif the populations of two or three towns had all come up to the top of the hills. And so here, where all you generally heard was the occasional scream of a buzzard, you heard the permanent scream of, well, everyone. It was called having fun . The only people not making any noise were the thieves and pickpockets, who went about their business with commendable silence, and they didn’t come near Tiffany; who would pick a witch’s pocket? You would be lucky to get all your fingers back. At least, that was what they feared, and a sensible witch would encourage them in this fear.
    When you were a witch, you were all witches, thought Tiffany