In Death 22 - Memory in Death

French. There I was puttering around my kitchen. You’ll remember I set store by a clean kitchen. I had the screen on for company, and they were talking about those doctors who got murdered, and that cloning. Sin against God and humanity, you ask me, and I was about to switch to something else, but it was sointerestingsomehow. Why, the teeth nearly dropped out of my head when I saw you talking on there. They had your name, too, right there. Lieutenant Eve Dallas,New York CityPolice and Security Department. You’re a heroine, that’s what they said. And you’d been wounded, too. Poor little lamb. But you look to be fit now. You’re looking very fit.”
    There was a woman sitting in her visitor’s chair. Red hair, green eyes, lips curved in a smile of sweet sentiment. Eve saw a monster, fanged and clawed. One that didn’t need to wait for the dark.
    “You need to go. You have to go now.”
    “You must be busy as a one-armed paper hanger, and here I am just babbling on. You just tell me where you want to have dinner, and I’ll get on, have Bobby make some reservations.”
    “No. No. I remember you.” A little, some. It was easy to let it haze. It wasnecessary.”I’m not interested. I don’t want to see you.”
    “What a thing to say.” The voice registered hurt, but the eyes were hard now. “What a way to be. I took you into my home. I was a mama to you.”
    “No, you weren’t.” Dark rooms, so dark. Cold water.I set store by a clean kitchen.
    No. Don’t think now. Don’t remember now.
    “You’re going to want to go now, right now. Quietly. I’m not a helpless child anymore. So you’re going
    to want to go, and keep going.”
    “Now, Eve, honey”
    “Get out, get out. Now.” Her hands were shaking so that she balled them into fists to hide the tremors. “Or I’ll put you in a fucking cage. You’ll be the one in a cage, I swear it.”
    Trudy picked up her purse, and a black coat she’d hung over the back of the chair. “Shame on you.”
    Her eyes as she walked by Eve were wet with tears. And hard as stone.
    Eve started to close the door, to lock it. But the room was overwhelmed with the scent of roses. Her stomach clenched, so she braced her hands on her desk until the worst of the nausea passed.
    “Sir, the woman who was … Lieutenant? Sir, are you all right?”
    She shook her head at Trueheart’s voice, waved him back. Digging for control, she straightened. She
    had to hold on, hold onto herself, until she got out. Got away. “Tell Detective Peabody something’s
    come up. I have to go.”
    “Lieutenant, if there’s anything I can do”
    “I just told you what to do.” Because she couldn’t bear the concern on his face, she left her desk, the unanswered ‘link, the messages, the paperwork, arrowed straight through the bull pen, ignoring the hails.
    She had to get out, outside. Away. Sweat was sliding down her back as she jumped on the first glide down. She could swear she felt her own bones trembling, and the cartilage in her knees sloshing, but
    she kept going. Even when she heardPeabodycall her name, she kept going.
    “Wait, wait! Whoa. What’s the matter? What happened?”
    “I have to go. You’ll have to handle Zero, the PA. Next of kin of the victims may be calling in for more answers. They usually do. You have to deal with them. I have to go.”
    “Wait. Jesus, did something happen to Roarke?”
    “No.”
    “Will you wait one damn minute!”
    Instead, feeling her stomach revolt, Eve sprinted into the closest bathroom. She let the sickness comewhat choice did she have? She let it come, the bitter bile of it, pouring through the fear and panic and memory, until she was empty.
    “Okay. Okay.” She was shaking, and her face ran with sweat. But there were no tears. There wouldn’t
    be tears to add to the humiliation.
    “Here. Here you go.”Peabodypushed dampened tissues into her hand. “It’s all I’ve got. I’ll get some water.”
    “No.” Eve let her head fall back on the wall of the stall. “No. Anything goes in now is just going to come up again. I’m okay.”
    “My ass. Morris has guests in the morgue that look better than you.”
    “I just need to go.”
    “Tell me what happened.”
    “I just need to go. I’m taking the rest of the day, comp time. You can handle the case, you’re up to it.”I’m not, she thought.I’m just not.”Any problems, just… just stall ‘til tomorrow.”
    “Screw the case. Look, I’ll get you home. You’re in