In the After

mother asked.
    Kay looked at me and sighed. “She’s a child. She can’t help us.” I glanced at her and she gave me a hard look. Kay still didn’t want my mother to know she was secretly training me.
    “I agree,” Marcus said and, one by one, they went around the room and said that I was too young. Rice was the only holdout.
    “We need her,” he told the group.
    “There is not enough evidence to suggest you will have a major effect on the outcome, Amy.” Dr. Reynolds commanded everyone’s attention. “We cannot sacrifice our children to fear. We have made our decision. Please leave the room.”
    I forced myself to stay silent as I got up and walked to the door. Why did they get to decide what I could do? I was the one who spotted Amber and her brother. I was the one who got Amber to tell me all she knew.
    The door shut. I was once again in the dark.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
    I take one of the pills Gareth gave me every morning. Along with being clearer, the memories are coming back more quickly now. I’m careful when I speak to the nurses and Dr. Thorpe, not to seem better or worse. I play nice, just as Rice advised. I’ve managed to fool them so far, even under the watchful lens of the cameras .
    I haven’t seen Frank around, but I notice Amber in the corner. I know it’s Amber now; she’s triggered a lot of memories for me. I go to sit next to her. No matter how I feel about her, she’s something familiar in this awful place .
    “How are you?” I ask a little resentfully .
    “I’m fine. Just fine.” She looks at me. “Are you a nurse here?”
    “No, Amber, it’s me, Amy.” I drop the attitude. “Don’t you remember me?”
    She stares at me. “You’re Amy. . . . You had a sister, right?”
    “That’s right. Baby,” I prompt .
    “Did they kill her too?”
    The blood rushes to my head as I panic. “What do you mean?” Rice said Baby was doing fine. Amber ignores me so I shake her shoulder. “Amber, what do you mean about them killing Baby?” I ask desperately .
    She looks at me sadly. “They killed my brother, you know. Then they put me in here. I thought maybe the same thing happened to you.”
    “Oh.” I try to relax, but my heart still races. “No, I don’t think I’m here for the same reasons you are.”
    “Then why are you here?” she asks .
    I glance around the room. In addition to the cameras and the watchful gaze of the orderlies, Dr. Reynolds has arrived and is observing us. I sit back, making my face passive .
    “I don’t know,” I whisper .
    Dr. Reynolds comes over. I do my best not to look as agitated as I feel .
    “Hello, girls.” He smiles at us. “I hate to interrupt, but it’s time for Amber’s treatment.” He holds out his hand for her and she takes it, almost eagerly. Dr. Reynolds leads her away without a backward glance at me .
    Where are they taking her? I stand to follow them, but the orderly is watching and I sit back down, on edge. I don’t want to think about all the things they could be doing to her. I distract myself by trying to remember again. There was another time I was being watched, not in the Ward, but in my mother’s apartment. I focus, willing my mind to clear and for the thought to become a memory .
    • • •
    I knew they would send someone to keep an eye on me, but I didn’t think it would be her. I knew they couldn’t spare a Guardian. I was hoping for a Minder, or someone who didn’t know me. My mother, on the other hand, was more than capable of seeing through my bullshit. Not that she was just sitting there watching me; she was working on her computer and talking on the phone. She tried to whisper so I wouldn’t hear, which drove me crazy. Even while engrossed in her work, she knew my every move.
    “Where are you going?” she asked, not bothering to look up from her computer.
    “My bedroom. Chill out.” While out of her sight, I grabbed the tiny headset I took from my synth-suit earlier and shoved it in my pocket.
    Baby , can you help me with something? I asked.
    Sure, what?
    Let’s go up to the roof and I’ll explain .
    I held Baby’s hand and approached my mother at her desk. “I can’t stand it in here,” I said. “I need some fresh air. I want to go up to the roof with Baby.”
    “Absolutely not,” she said absently.
    “Do you seriously think I would do anything to harm her?” I argued. “I just want to be outside, not cooped up.”
    “Fine, I’ll come with you.” She stood.
    “Mom, I kind