In the After

conversation over.
    “Can’t you rehabilitate them?” I pressed. “There’s got to be some work they can do for the community, some way they can contribute even if they aren’t freed.”
    “No, Amy, there is no chance that any of them will live in New Hope.”
    “Why not?” I demanded, refusing to back down.
    She turned to me and sighed. “Because they’re dead. All of them,” she told me quietly.
    I looked at her, shocked.
    “Dr. Reynolds and I . . .” She rubbed her temples. “Sometimes the people in charge have to make difficult decisions.”
    “Spare me the rhetoric,” I sneered.
    “Would you rather they were let loose on New Hope? Can you imagine the damage?” She tried to defend herself.
    I shook my head, sickened. “But you let Amber go.”
    “Dr. Reynolds will keep her under close observation. He said that she might eventually fit in here.”
    “Did he?” I asked angrily. “And is he the one who decided the others should die or was that you?”
    “Amy, I . . .” She moved toward me and tried to hug me, but I shook her off.
    “Dad protested against things he thought were wrong, like capital punishment.” I glared at her. “How do you think he would have felt about this? About New Hope’s policies? About forced psychiatric evaluations?”
    “It’s different when you’re responsible for the last members of the human race. We don’t have the luxury of your father’s kind of thinking now.”
    “It doesn’t help our numbers to sacrifice them.”
    “We collected their genetic material first. . . . We need a cohesive community here. It’s essential.”
    I looked at my mother in disgust and rushed out of the apartment, repulsed by her clinical detachment about what anyone else would call murder.
    • • •
    Rice hasn’t come to visit for a while—I think it’s been days—and there hasn’t been any word from Kay or Gareth. I try not to show my fear, but I’m becoming more and more nervous. I have trouble sleeping and Dr. Thorpe has commented on the dark circles under my eyes .
    I try to keep my mind busy. I watch the doctors, the nurses, the orderlies. I wonder which of them really think they’re helping us, and which know our treatment is an act .
    I also study the other patients. There are thirty on my floor. I sit in the common room and wonder what they each did to be put in here. I change seats to sit next to Amber. She doesn’t acknowledge my presence .
    “Amber?” When she still doesn’t move, I go on. “I saw you the other day.”
    She continues to stare forward. I put my hand on her shoulder, take her head with my other hand, and turn her toward me. Her eyes are blank, unseeing. The side of her head is shaved, revealing a long row of stitches. I drop my hands, horrified .
    “Oh, Amber.” I feel like I’m going to be sick. Breathing heavily, I place my cold hands on my flushed face. I can’t get enough air and feel faint. I begin to hyperventilate, but make myself slow my breathing, desperately trying to remain calm .
    When I’ve composed myself, I look again at Amber. A glob of drool gathers at the corner of her mouth, and I use my sleeve to wipe it away. “I’m so sorry that this happened to you,” I tell her .
    I hated Amber for so long, but now I only pity her. She was just trying to survive. No one should suffer this. No one deserves to be forced into oblivion .
    • • •
    “Did you know?” I asked Kay. I’d waited for her all day to come back from her secret mission, which was most likely making sure there were no more gangs in the surrounding area, ready to pounce on New Hope. I finally caught her in the locker room.
    “Hello to you, too.” Her voice lacked its normal bite and when she looked at my face, she dropped the sarcastic tone altogether. “I didn’t know what they were going to do with them, no.”
    “It’s barbaric,” I spit.
    “It’s necessary.” Kay looked around the Rumble Room, lowering her voice. “I thought we should detain them, put them in the Ward to recondition them, commission a couple of guards, but I’m not the big boss. The director and Reynolds make the final decisions.”
    I hated how everyone rationalized the massacre. Even Kay. I needed to be alone. Away from the propaganda and the blind loyalty. I ran out to the edges of New Hope, wandering restlessly. I stayed out well after sunset, reveling in the darkness, comforted by the quiet. When I got home, I went straight to my room and shut the