In the Land of the Long White Cloud

around, and he cries all the time when you take him away from Kiri and Marama. He feels comfortable with them, so what’s to be done?”
    “Well, I would like to see him at least once,” admitted Helen. “What’s with you, Gwyn? Is there something wrong with him?”
    Fleurette and Ruben had set off on an adventure right after Gwyneira’s arrival, and the Maori children would not be coming that day because of some celebration in their village. Helen figured that this was the ideal day to press Gwyneira to tell her the truth.
    She shook her head disinterestedly. “What could be wrong with him? Everything is there. He’s a strong baby—and finally a boy. I’ve fulfilled the duty expected of me.” Gwyneira played with her teacup. “And now, tell me what’s new. Did the organ for the church in Haldon finally arrive? And will the reverend finally allow you to play it since he hasn’t found a male organist?”
    “Forget the stupid organ, Gwyn.” Helen took refuge in impatient words but felt helpless. “I asked you about your baby! What isgoing on with you? You talk about every puppy with more excitement than you talk about Paul. And he’s your son, you know…you should be over the moon with happiness. And what about the proud grandfather? In Haldon they’re already whispering that something’s not right with the baby because Gerald hasn’t bought a single round to celebrate his grandson.”
    Gwyneira shrugged. “I don’t know what Gerald’s thinking. Can we talk about something else now?”
    Determined to relax and enjoy herself, she took a tea biscuit.
    Helen would have liked to shake her.
    “No, we can’t, Gwyn. You’ll tell me right now what’s going on! Something must have happened with you or the baby or Gerald. Are you angry with Lucas for leaving you?”
    Gwyneira shook her head. “Oh that, that’s ancient history. He must have had his reasons.”
    In reality she did not know how she felt about Lucas. Though she was angry because he had left her alone in this quandary, she could understand his flight. Yet Gwyneira had not felt much of anything since James’s departure and Paul’s birth; it was as though she were keeping her thoughts and feelings under a bell jar. If she did not feel anything, she would not be vulnerable.
    “Those reasons didn’t have anything to do with you? Or with the baby?” Helen drilled further. “Don’t lie to me, Gwyn, you have to clear this up. Otherwise, everyone will be talking about it. In Haldon they’re already whispering, and the Maori are talking too. You know they raise their children communally; the word ‘mother’ does not have the same meaning for them as for us, and Kiri does not find it strange to care for Paul as well. But the lack of interest you show your baby…you should ask Matahorua for advice.”
    Gwyneira shook her head. “What advice is she supposed to give me? Can she bring Lucas back? Can she—” She stopped short, shocked. She had nearly given away more than anyone in the world was ever allowed to know.
    “Maybe she could help you get along better with the child,” Helen said. “Why don’t you breastfeed it? Are you not producing milk?”
    “Kiri has enough milk in her for two,” Gwyneira said dismissively. “And I’m a lady. It’s not common for women like myself to breastfeed their children in England.”
    “You’ve gone crazy, Gwyn.” Helen shook her head. She was slowly growing angry. “At least think of better excuses. No one believes all that about your being a lady. So, once again: did Lucas leave because you were pregnant?”
    Gwyneira shook her head. “Lucas doesn’t know anything about the baby,” she said quietly.
    “So you cheated on him? That’s what they’re saying in Haldon, and if it keeps up—”
    “How many times do I have to tell you, damn it? This damned baby is a Warden!” All of Gwyneira’s anger suddenly burst forth, and she began to sob. She didn’t deserve any of this. She had been so discreet about Fleur’s conception. No one, absolutely no one doubted her legitimacy. And now the real Warden was supposed to be the bastard?
    Helen thought hard while Gwyneira wept. Lucas knew nothing of the pregnancy—and Gwyneira’s problems having children up until then lay, in Matahorua’s opinion, with him. So if a Warden had impregnated her with this child, then…
    “Oh God, Gwyn…” Helen knew she could never speak her suspicion aloud, but now she could see it all clearly for