In the Land of the Long White Cloud

herself. Gerald Warden must have impregnated Gwyneira—and it did not look like it had been accomplished with her friend’s approval. She took her friend in her arms to comfort her. “Oh, Gwyn, I was so stupid. I should have known right away. Instead, I’ve been torturing you with a thousand questions. But you…you have to forget all that now. Regardless of how Paul was conceived. He’s your son.”
    “I hate him!” Gwyneira sobbed.
    Helen shook her head. “Foolish girl. You can’t hate a little baby. Paul can’t help whatever happened. He has a right to his mother, Gwyn. Just like Fleur and Ruben. Do you think his conception was much fun for me?”
    “At least you did it of your own will!” Gwyneira erupted.
    “The baby doesn’t care. Please, Gwyn, at least try. Bring the little fellow along, introduce him to the women in Haldon—try to be a little bit proud of him. Then the love will come.”

    The crying did Gwyneira good, and she was relieved that Helen knew but didn’t judge her. Her friend obviously had not thought for even a moment that Gwyneira would have slept with Gerald of her own free will—a nightmare that had plagued Gwyneira ever since she had become pregnant. Since James had left, a rumor to that effect had been making the rounds in the stables, and Gwyneira was only happy that it had escaped James McKenzie. She could not have handled James asking her about it. Gwyneira’s “breeder self” could follow the thinking that had caused her employees and friends to come to this conclusion. After Lucas’s failure had become common knowledge, conceiving the heir with Gerald would have been the next best thing. Gwyneira wondered why the thought had not crossed her mind when she was in search of a father for her first child—perhaps because Lucas’s father acted so aggressively toward her that she feared every conversation and every moment alone with him. But Gerald might have toyed with the idea himself, and perhaps that was also a reason for his drinking and his anger: quite possibly everything had served to keep his forbidden lust—and the monstrous idea of simply siring his own “grandson”—from raising its head at all.
    Gwyneira was lost in thought as she directed the carriage home. Fortunately, she did not need to keep Fleur occupied; she rode proudly and happily on her own next to the chaise. George Greenwood had presented little Paul with a pony for his christening—he must have planned it far in advance and ordered the little mare while he was still in England, just after learning of Gwyneira’s pregnancy. Fleurette had naturally taken the horse for herself right away and had gotten along very well with it from the first. There was no way she would give it up when Paul got older. Gwyneira would have to think of something,but there was time for that. Before anything else, she had to address the problem of Paul being regarded as a bastard in Haldon. It wouldn’t do to have the Warden heir being whispered about. Gwyneira had to defend her honor and her good name.
    When she finally arrived at Kiward Station, she made straight for her rooms, looking for the baby. As expected, she found his crib empty. After looking around, she discovered Kiri in the kitchen with both infants, one on each breast.
    Gwyn forced herself to smile.
    “There’s my boy,” she remarked kindly. “When he’s done, can I…can I hold him awhile, Kiri?”
    If this desire struck Kiri as surprising, she did not show it. She just beamed at Gwyneira. “Of course! Will be happy to see mama.”
    But Paul was not happy at all and started bawling as soon as Gwyneira took him from Kiri’s arms.
    “He not mean it like that,” Kiri murmured, embarrassed. “Is just not used.”
    Gwyneira rocked the baby in her arms and strove to suppress the impatience rising up within her. Helen was right; the baby couldn’t do anything about it. And when she looked at him objectively, Paul was a handsome child. He had large, clear eyes, still blue and round as marbles. His hair was dark, curly, and unruly, and the noble shape of his mouth reminded Gwyneira of Lucas. It shouldn’t be all that difficult to learn to love this baby…but before anything else, she needed to clean out the rumor mill.
    “I’ll be holding him more often, so he gets used to me,” she declared to the amazed but delighted Kiri. “And I’m taking him with me tomorrow to Haldon. You can come along if you like. As his nanny.”
    Then at least he