IslandAffair

breath stirred the hair on the nape of
Rob’s neck, making him shiver. He longed to lean back against his lover but
knew that if he did he would never be able to let him leave.
    John’s gravelly voice roughened more by his emotions, his
accent deepened. “All right…I’ll come to you. As soon as I’ve testified.”
    Robin turned to face him, heart pounding in his chest. He
wanted that, more than he could ever say. Tears burned behind his eyelids.
    “No. I told you, no one but Joanne knows I’m gay. I live in
a small town, John. How long do you think I’d keep my job if I brought a male
lover home? They’re not going to want a gay man teaching their kids! I can’t
risk that for a vacation romance.”
    “This is more than just a holiday fling! I love you, Robin.”
    Rob shook his head in denial, not trusting his voice.
    “Are you going to let what everyone else thinks of you
dictate how you live your life, Robin?” John snapped, anger sharpening the
mellow tone of his voice. “How long are you going to hide?”
    “I told you what happened to the English tutor.”
    “You don’t know that would happen to you. Hell, it might
have had nothing to do with the fact he was gay. Maybe there just wasn’t a
demand for tutors. Maybe he was a crappy teacher!”
    “It doesn’t matter. I’m… I’m just… I can’t, John.”
    He watched John’s retreat, heard the defeat in his voice.
    “You said you came here to step out of your cocoon, Robin,
but all you did was invite someone inside for a while. Ah’m glad I was that
person, but how long are you going to live your life for everyone else? Aren’t
you allowed to have some happiness too?” He paused and Rob heard the tremor in
his voice. “Goodbye, leannan .”
     
    The door closed behind John with a final click and Robin let
go of his tears. He was right to set him free, he had to be. Goodbyes
were almost always painful. He had expected that. He just hadn’t thought it
would feel as if his heart was being torn from his chest. Desperate for a
distraction, he wiped his face and began cleaning the already tidy kitchen, but
his thoughts kept swirling around in his head. Could John be right? Had he been
living for everyone else’s happiness? Robin thought about his hometown and the
life he was about to return to. He had blamed the people around him for the
fact that he was still in the closet but perhaps he just hadn’t found anything
that was worth the risk. It was easier to go along with what they all wanted
him to be but it didn’t make him happy. No matter how much he loved his job.
    John was right. And with that realization came the certainty
that he had found something that was worth risking everything. He loved
John. He gazed out at the ocean and pulled on his baseball cap absently. He
needed to go to him, tell him he had changed his mind. It wouldn’t be easy but
that shouldn’t stop him from following his heart. And if people couldn’t accept
him as he was…they would deal with that too.
    Barefoot and uncaring, he flew out of the door and across
the sand to John’s cottage. Breath coming in hard gasps, he raced up the steps
and pounded on the door but there was no answering noise from inside.
Frantically he dashed around to the back door and knocked again, only to
receive no response. Rob looked around the beach in the vain hope that they
might merely be out walking but the silence from the cottage and the closed
shutters gave him no choice but to accept it.
    He was gone.
    Rob headed for the path back to the hotel complex in the
hope that he might be able to catch up with them. As he stepped into the shadow
of the trees, he almost walked into the bodyguard John had called Dan. His
casual outfit had been replaced by a sober suit and tie. Before he could say a
word, the man held up his hand to silence him.
    “You’re too late, they’re already gone. They’ll be boarding
a flight as soon as they get to the airport. There’s no way you’ll get there on
time.”
    There had to be another way. He could not let this be
the end. Desperately Robin grasped the dark sleeve of the other man’s jacket.
“Then can you tell me where he’ll be? How to get in touch with him?”
    Dan shook his head. “No, I’m sorry. He’ll be taken to a safe
place until after the trial. If you want to give me a message though, I can
make sure he gets it.”
    Robin closed his eyes against the sympathy on Dan’s face.
    Too late.
    “Tell him…” Robin hesitated.