Jamie Brodie 01 - Cited to Death

not there when you get back."
    I just nodded.
    I didn’t hear what I wanted to from the apartment manager. “The studios are really popular right now, and we don’t have one available at all, unless someone breaks a lease. And I don’t really expect that to happen.” She smiled sympathetically. “I’m glad you enjoy living here so much. I’m going to put the pressure on to get your place restored as quickly as possible. We should have you back in there in less than a month.”
    I thanked her. I was going to have to gut it out at Pete’s.
    Since I had my car, I went to Target in Culver City. In spite of what I'd told Liz, I really didn't have anything to my name except a computer and a car and the clothes on my back. Target opened up to me like an old friend. I bought socks, underwear, swim trunks, gym shorts, lots of t-shirts, a couple of pairs of pajama pants, sweatpants and hoodies, a couple of pairs of jeans, a bunch of polo shirts, and a couple of pairs of chinos. I wasn't going to get dress shirts here; I could get away with wearing polo shirts to work for a while. I did have a pair of running shoes in the back of the VW, and I had the shoes I'd been wearing yesterday, so I could get by there as well until I could get to Penneys or someplace with a better shoe selection. I bought toothbrushes, toothpaste, shampoo, razors, deodorant, soap, and towels. I went to the pharmacy and replaced my flowmeter. And I bought beer and Coke Classic and a huge box of Cheez-Its. Comfort food.
    I was getting in the VW when Kevin called. He had just met with the insurance adjuster, who had cut him a check on the spot. He was depositing it into our joint account, so when the funds became available in a few days I could transfer half to my account.
    Then he asked, "Where are you?"
    I told him and filled him in on the other events of the morning.
    Then he proceeded to yell at me.
    He yelled at me for picking up the car, for going to the apartment complex, for going shopping. He yelled at me for the way I was treating Pete. He yelled at me for thinking that I wouldn't continue to be welcome in my own home with him and Abby. He yelled at me for even thinking of going back to work tomorrow, and he yelled at me for having been friends with "that pink-haired loon" (Diane) in the first place.
    He ended with, "What the hell is the matter with you?"
    I said, "I don't know." And hung up on him.
    Then I sat in the parking lot and called my dad.
    My dad and I were always close. He was close to all of us; he’d raised us, with help from our grandfather, after our mom was killed by a drunk driver when I was six months old. But after Jeff and Kevin had gone off to college and my granddad moved back to South Carolina, it was just me and my dad for a year. I’d always been able to talk to him about anything. And I really needed to talk to him now.
    When he answered the phone, “Hey, sport, what’s up?” I had to struggle to fight back the tears.
    The first thing I managed to get out was, “I just hung up on Kevin.”
    “Okay, why’d you do that?”
    “Because he was yelling at me.”
    “Okay, why was he yelling at you?”
    And that’s how it went. Eventually I calmed down enough to stop sniffling and spill my guts.
    My dad was pretty much quiet through the whole story, occasionally asking a question to clarify something. When I got to the asthma attack and the fire, he was aghast. “Jamie! If someone is after you up there, then the last thing you need is to be by yourself. Why do you not want to stay with Pete?”
    I tried to explain it to him. He wasn’t buying it. “Son, you don’t give Pete enough credit. He obviously cares about you, and he’s a much higher quality person than those last three or four guys were. And he’s definitely not Ethan. You need to change trains here. Get off the Ethan train before the Pete train leaves the station and it’s too late.”
    “I am off the Ethan train.”
    “No, you’re not. You’re still letting him color every relationship you have, seven years later. He’d be amazed to learn that he has this power over you. You didn’t let him rule your life while you were with him, so why are you letting him rule it now?”
    A flash of insight that I didn’t know I had until I opened my mouth. “Because it’s safer this way.”
    “Well, apparently not, since you tell me your life is a disaster right now.” Dad paused. I could almost hear him deciding what to say. “Listen. I