Jamie Brodie 02 - Hoarded to Death

African American woman, with the closely cut to the head hairstyle that I thought looked great on women of a certain age. She was probably in her late forties. She smiled and shook my hand. "Jamie, welcome. Come in, have a seat. Would you like some tea?"
    I'd lived in England long enough to pick up the tradition of thinking that a cuppa could solve the problems of the world. "Yes, please. As long as it’s not chamomile – I have asthma."
    “Ah. No, it’s Earl Grey.” Dr. Bibbins poured from a pot sitting in an alcove that contained a hot plate and refrigerator. "Sugar?"
    "No, thank you."
    She returned and handed me my cup, then sat down in the chair opposite me, rather than behind her desk. “So. What has prompted you to seek therapy?”
    I’d thought about how to phrase this. “I need to learn how to deal with the frustration that I feel toward my boyfriend in terms of our sexual compatibility.”
    “Ah. And why are you sexually incompatible?”
    “We’re not, entirely. But…” I told her about Pete’s history, and my hopes for our sex life. “I’ve done some research on survivors of sexual abuse, and I know I’ll never be able to ask him for what I’d like. And now he’s afraid that I’ll eventually leave him because of it, even though I’ve promised him that I won’t. But to keep that promise, I have to learn how to deal with this.”
    “Does Pete know that you’re here?”
    “No, ma’am.”
    She looked at me sharply. “Ma’am?”
    Oops . “I’m sorry. I was raised by Marines.”
    She smiled. “Ah. Then you’re forgiven. Just don’t make a habit of it.”
    “I won’t.” I almost said ma’am, and caught myself.
    Dr. Bibbins could tell, and she looked amused. “Is Pete in therapy?”
    “Yes , since he was fourteen. And he’s a psychologist himself.”
    She looked surprised. “I see. Is he in practice?”
    “No. He’s full-time faculty at Santa Monica College.”
    "Okay. " She took a few notes. “Before we discuss your relationship, I’d like to hear about you. Tell me about your background.”
    So I did. She nodded and took notes along the way, occasionally asking a question. When I stopped, she said, " You're close to your family."
    "Yes."
    "You speak with them often?"
    "A couple of times a week, at least, and we all text each other almost every day."
    "Okay. So you have a very strong emotional support system outside of your relationship."
    I'd never really thought of it in those structured terms, but... "Definitely."
    “And you’re used to sharing things with them.”
    “Yes.”
    “But this is a burden you can’t share. The weight is all on your shoulders this time.”
    I hadn’t thought about that, but she was right. I couldn’t talk to anyone about this, ever. Suddenly I felt ten years older. I said weakly, “I guess it’s a good thing I’m here.”
    Dr. Bibbins nodded sharply, but her eyes were sympathetic. “Yes. Now , why don't you tell me your relationship history.”
    " Yes, m…um…I met Pete when I first moved to LA. He was my brother Kevin's partner on the police force. They did stuff together outside of work, hiking and going to Dodgers games and playing on the LAPD baseball team. So Pete and I were around each other a lot. But when we met, he was dating someone else. It wasn't until a couple of years later that we actually started dating, after Pete had left the force."
    "And who initiated the relationship?"
    I smiled in memory. "He did."
    "Did you immediately accept?"
    I laughed. "Yes."
    "Then what happened?"
    "We dated for about eight months. We got along great, but I guess we kind of got into a rut, a little bit? And he was in grad school, so he didn't have a lot of free time, and I had started working at my job and was making a lot more money than he did, so there were some strains there. And then his old boyfriend came back and wanted to get back together, and Pete left me for him."
    Dr. Bibbins' eyebrows rose in surprise. "You say that so calmly."
    "Well, I do now, but I wasn't very calm at the time."
    "Ah. So what did you do?"
    "I started dating other people again. I didn't see much of Pete for a while, because my brother Kevin really didn't like the old boyfriend. I'd never met the guy, but I definitely didn't want to be around him either."
    "Understandable. So your brother was upset by the fact that Pete had broken up with you."
    "Yes."
    She nodded. "So how did it come about that you got back together?"
    "Pete broke up with the old