Jane Actually

[email protected]
    To: [email protected]
    Date: Mar. 10, 2011 09:31:11
    Subject: AGM roommates
    Greetings Mr Abrams,
    I learn from JASNA that you have graciously volunteered to be one of the living roommates for the disembodied attendees of the upcoming AGM and I have been fortunate enough to be assigned to your care.
    Please allow me to thank you for your kind offer. You must be very understanding of the concerns of the disembodied and I very much appreciate your willingness to act as our—well I abhor the word facilitator as was stated in the email I received—guide, perhaps.
    I assure you I am a man of modest habits and do not snore and will respect your privacy, although that may be difficult for a little research shows that you are a student of Dr Alice Davis and surely you must have opinions to offer us regarding the special guest at the AGM.
    If there is any information you require of me, please do not hesitate to ask. I assume as the time draws near, you will provide us with more information about the arrangements and until that time,
    I remain your humble servant,
    Albert Ridings
    Stephen read this with a grin, amused at Albert’s elaborate tone. Stephen had a fair number of disembodied friends, and some of them had definitely crafted affectations. He suspected many were not authentically of their era and he wondered if Albert were playing up his part. He decided to reply in kind:
    Dear Mr Ridings,
    Thank you for your many compliments. I look forward to meeting you at the AGM and you are correct that I will provide more information as the date draws near. You have the distinction of being the first of my disembodied roommates to reply, however, so I will gladly take any suggestions from you as to what information you would require.
    It may help you to know my appearance and to that end I include this link to my facebook page where I hope you might ask me to be your friend.
    And yes the news that Jane Austen will be addressing the AGM certainly has kept me busy. You can imagine for someone like me the appeal of being able to directly ask Miss Austen questions, rather than sifting through family records, divining answers from diary entries and casual observations or traveling to England to examine museum inventories. Well, the last actually has a certain appeal.
    Of course, even if this is the actual Jane Austen—something which I am ready to accept—the passage of time may have affected her recollections and will still need to be verified independently if possible.
    I look forward to your reply and again any suggestions as to how I may make your attendance at the AGM more enjoyable.
    In kind, I offer myself as your humble and obedient servant.
    Stephen James Abrams, esq
    Stephen smirked when adding the esquire, especially as his only pretension to the landed gentry was his one-year lease on a studio apartment, but he thought himself equal to Albert’s flowery flummery. He forced himself to return to his task of writing his speech when his email chimed again and found that Albert had asked him to be his friend on facebook.
    He confirmed Albert, which allowed him to view Albert’s page. He found an old photo that showed a typical Tommy 1 from World War I, posed in front of some painted backdrop with his hat sitting on a waist high plinth next to him. He could make out little other than that the man appeared older than the typical soldier, although that may have been the effect of the man’s smart moustache and by his sergeant’s stripes. Clicking about also revealed references to the Battle of the Somme, the 1st Battalion of the Hampshire Regiment, JASNA and Boca Raton, Florida, Albert’s current home. It was clear from the context that Albert claimed to be someone who’d died during World War I, presumably at the Battle of the Somme, although Stephen could also see that Albert did not have a verified identity.
    Judging from the postings on his page, however, that did not stop Albert from having connected with the descendants of his family. He found numerous photos and videos of grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Stephen also assumed his descendants were the source of Albert’s photograph. Taken as a whole, it seemed a pretty convincing portrait of a man who’d died during the Great War and had successfully reconnected with his very extensive family.
    But somehow the story of Albert discovering Jane Austen while convalescing from his wounds just seemed too ridiculously based on