Jingo

Sir!”
    Vimes opened his eyes wide.
    “Really?” Rust stared at Carrot for a few moments, and then gave a little shrug.
    “Ah, well…loyalty is a fine thing. Sergeant Colon?”
    “Sir!”
    “In the circumstances, and since you are the most experienced noncommissioned officer and have an exemp—and have a military record, you will take command of the Watch for the duration of the…emergency.”
    “Nossir!”
    “That was an instruction, sergeant.”
    Beads of sweat began to form on Colon’s brow. “Nossir!”
    “ Sergeant !”
    “You can put it where the sun does not shine, sir!” said Colon desperately.
    Once again, Vimes saw Rust’s milky-blue stare. Rust never looked surprised. And since he knew that a mere sergeant would never dare offer cheeky defiance, he erased Sergeant Colon from the immediate universe.
    The gaze turned briefly to Detritus.
    And he doesn’t know how to speak to a troll, Vimes thought. And he was once again impressed, in the same dark way, by the manner in which Rust dealt with the problem. He dealt with it by making it not be there.
    “Who is the senior corporal in the Watch, Sir Samuel?”
    “That would be Corporal Nobbs.”
    The committee went into a huddle. There was a rush of whispering, in which the words “—an absolute little tit —” could be heard several times. Finally Rust looked up again.
    “And the next in seniority?”
    “Let me see…that would be Corporal Stronginthearm,” said Vimes. He felt oddly light-headed.
    “Perhaps he is a man who can take orders.”
    “He’s a dwarf, you idiot!”
    Not a muscle moved on Rust’s face. There was a clink as Vimes’s badge was set neatly on the table.
    “I don’t have to take this,” Vimes said calmly.
    “Oh, so you’d rather be a civilian, would you?”
    “ A watchman is a civilian, you inbred streak of piss !”
    Rust’s brain erased the sounds that his ears could not possibly have heard.
    “And the keys to the armory, Sir Samuel,” he said.
    They jangled as they landed on the table.
    “And do the rest of you have any empty gestures to make?” said Lord Rust.
    Sergeant Colon took his grimy badge out of his pocket and was a little disappointed that it didn’t make a defiant tinkle when he threw it on the table but instead bounced and smashed the water jug.
    “I got my badge carved on my arm,” Detritus rumbled. “Someone c’n try an’ take it off if dey likes.”
    Carrot laid his badge down very carefully.
    Rust raised his eyebrows. “You too, captain?”
    “Yes, sir.”
    “I would have thought that you at least—”
    He stopped and looked up in annoyance as the doors opened. A couple of the palace guards ran in, with a group of Klatchians behind them.
    The council got to their feet in a hurry.
    Vimes recognized the Klatchian in the center of the group. He’d seen him around at official functions and, if it hadn’t been for the fact that the man was a Klatchian, would have marked him down as a shifty piece of work.
    “Who’s he?” he whispered to Carrot.
    “Prince Kalif. He’s the deputy ambassador.”
    “Another prince?”
    The man came to a halt in front of the table, glanced at Vimes with no show of recognition and bowed to Lord Rust.
    “Prince Kalif,” said Lord Rust. “Your arrival is unannounced but nevertheless—”
    “I have grave news, my lord.” Even in his stunned state, a part of Vimes registered that the voice was different. Khufurah had learned his second language on the street, but this one had had tutors.
    “At a time like this, what news isn’t?” said Rust.
    “There have been developments on the new land. Regrettable incidents. And indeed in Ankh-Morpork, too.” He glanced at Vimes again. “Although here, I must say, reports are confused. Lord Rust, I have to tell you we are, technically, at war.”
    “ Technically at war?” said Vimes.
    “I am afraid events are carrying us forward,” said Kalif. “The situation is delicate.”
    They know they’re going to fight, Vimes thought. This is just like the start of a dance, where you hang around looking at your partner…
    “I must tell you that you are being given twelve hours to remove all your citizens from Leshp,” said Kalif. “If that is done, matters will be happily resolved. For the present.”
    “Our response is that you have twelve hours to quit Leshp,” said Rust. “If that is not done, then we will take…steps…”
    Kalif bowed slightly. “We understand one another. A formal